Odd man out at Volunteer Luncheon

Yersterday I went to attend the Tax Preparer Volunteer's luncheon. No sooner the lunch started after the introductory speech by the Coordinator, than I noticed something unusual. I was the only man amongst a score of people inside the room, the rest were women, including our site coordinator - evidently the odd man out amidst a group of women. 

Over a long lunch of Barbecued chicken, pulled Pork, Coleslaw and Potato salad washed down with Iced Tea and Soda the mostly ladies only room was ignited with typical girly gossips. While eating silently, my poking eyes and ears savored on the tete a tete circulating around the room.

Hey your hairstyle is soooo cute ! This lipstick suits you soooo well ! You look so nice on this Scott. Where did ya get it from ? You look soooo pretty today, got the compliments a girl sitting right in front me from another. It made her face glow instantly, like a lamp just switched on.

I wish some complimented on my looks or dress, as lipstick was out of question. No one bothered to. Unfortunately neither I was not from Scotland where men are known to wear scott. Next time I might try wearing a mulit color, check LUNGI (loincloth), aptly folded to get as close to a scott.

Reminded of this incident in New Jersey inside my apparent complex when one of our DESI (Person of Indian origin) guy was roaming wearing a folded Lungi. A woman in the neighborhood reported to the property management - I just saw a man wearing Scott roaming around the complex. It might be time for me to emulate the feat.

My ever prying ears were up, a la ears of an alert cat, as I continued overhearing their conversation. An old lady was bitching about her daughter in law (it is not unusual for in-laws not to get along, an universal phenomenon it seems). 

She was uttering to the lady sitting next to her - "My daughter in law has an extra key to my house. The other day, I found some of my missing items in her home". When confronted, rather than being apologetic she retorted back, "You have been hoarding stuff  inside since time immemorial. What's wrong if I use them? "EXCUSE ME, the mom in law exclaimed !!! Ain't taking stuff without permission from my house tantamount to stealing?" - she shook off her head as she went on doing character assassination of her daughter in law. Ummm, Ummm...her listeners nodded in unison.

Another not so old lady whined about her hubby spending way too much time chatting to his ex. His readymade response to the apparently jealous and nosey woman was very standard - "We are just friends". The suspicous wife feels they're more than just friends. Her listeners drooped their heads sidewards - " Ah, the Men. Amen". The lonely man in me inside the room was thoroughly outnumbered to register even a token protest. I continued munching my Barbecued chicken, enjoying the milieu.

A few discussions veered around dogs and cats. They were showing pictures of their pets, with "Awww..awww..cho chweets" around. I was also shown the picture of a hazel eyed brown kitty. But my response was very bland - "A cute cat", in contrast to the spicy flavor of the hot Sriracha sauce I liberally poured on my plate.

Read somewhere before, Women -"Divided by ego, United by gossips". More united, if the gossips are mother in law and daughter in law related.