A Math question for today. The first few lines of an Odia duet number I overheard in a Barber's shop (saloon) in Bhubaneswar.
Boy - TO SEXY SEXY ANTA DEKHI
MO DIL FIDA HELA.
(Looking at your sexy waistline,
My heart is super fine).
Girl - TO STRONG STRONG BODY DEKHI
MO NAZAR LAKHI GALA.
(Looking at your strong body,
My eyes were fixated on it steady)
Calculate how many English, Hindi and Odia words are there in this so called Odia song loaded with tons of vulgarity. It is high time for the legendary Odia singers Akshay Mohanty, Chitta Jena, Prafulla Kar et all to take rebirth to save Odia music from adulteration, cataclysmic alteration and eventual extinction. When I told the saloon owner to switch to another song, his reply was - "Folks prefer to listen such songs these days". I am a middle aged expatriate. Who cares for my opinion here anyway !
This isn't the sole example. At a local sweet shop I saw a purely Odia looking girl talking in pure Odia with someone on phone suddenly taking a pause and asking another pure Odia shop owner - "BHAYA JARA JALEBI DENA" (Brother, give me some Jalebi). Bhai has become Bhaya and Jilapi has turned into Jalebi. Dhantera has replaced the festival of Akshay Trutiya. We are now celebrating Lori. To those who imbibe North Indian culture, how many of them celebrate Raja or Kumar Purnima !
North Indian invasion is not just limited to festivals. Nani and Apaa have become Didi. Bhinei has become fashionable Jiju and so on. A lady who I used to address as APAA (elder sister) now insists on being addressed as DIDI (as they address elder sister in Hindi). "APAA, NA KADALI CHOPAA (Banana peel), MOTE DIDI DAAKE (call me Didi)" - she retorted back. I got the message loud and clear. Ekta Kapoor's serials are clearly having their effect. First time I heard the word "bro" was in Hollywood movies and after coming to America. Now bros are roaming rampant in Bhubaneswar, many address one another with "Hi bro".
For someone from current generation of middle class in Bhubaneswar being closer to Hindi and English sounds "Hef" (the word used for being cool here). The Forest Park dwellers, Netflix and Amazon Prime watchers are one step ahead of them in "Hef" category, as they chew "Phew, Oops, Shit" in English - for them Hindi is so passe.
The barber gave me a close shave, followed by haircut. When he was in the middle of his job, someone called him on his mobile (cell). The barber told the other guy on line - "Call me later. I got a customer here". He continued chatting with me as he clipped my hair - "These guys are from my village in Jagatsingpur who don't do anything and sit idle at home. Nothing else to do, they call and disturb me. When I visit my village, they demand a BHATA-MANSA (Rice and Goat meat) party from me. At the same time they burn with jealousy for those who have gone out of village to make money. Bloody double headed snakes". With such stories rampant here, he had a point.
In one of my earlier trips a guy suddenly barges into the saloon, combing ploughing his hair backwards, uttering in Odia - KIRE KUNA (a common Odia nick name) TAA SHAALI BAHAGHARA RU PHERILA (Did Kuna return from marriage of his sister-in-law) ? The guy reading a local newspaper got up, walked to the front door to spit out his betel stained saliva and replied - "NA MA. SE E JAYE MEESSI KALLA KARINI". (He has not yet given me a miss call - a call on the cell phone destined to be missed but expected to be returned at the earliest). The tete-a-tete continued as the barber focused on giving me a clean shave, used his blade in surgical precision reaching out to all the nooks and corners of my face which I can rarely reach. He continued weeding out the unwanted hairs off my face, gave me a nice massage, soothing my jaded nerves. I thanked him for giving me a clean slate.
Many here suffer from IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrom). But ever since I am here in India, I am having ISS (Irritable Sleeping Syndrome). Though my jet lag is gone, I am sleeping at odd hours and up very early in morning, still longing for couple of more hours of sleep. In United States most places open for breakfast quite early, between 5 AM to 6.30 AM. Then open for lunch from 10.30 and dinner at 6 PM. Here stalls on the street selling breakfast open after 8 AM, most restaurants around 9. Lunch is eaten not before 2 PM and dinner often after 10 PM. With such late dinner one can imagine eating a late breakfast. But at our home here we don't eat that late and it keeps me sane. I prefer to have my cuppa tea early in the morning, but lunch at 2 PM and dinner at 10 PM isn't my cuppa tea.
Thanks to the information provided by my friends Shubhranshu Mishra Babu and Rajendra Jena, I was able to change my Rs.2000 note (Bill) at the local branch of the Reserve Bank of India (RBI), India's equivalent of the Fed. I arrived at the gate at sharp 10 AM. The guard at the gate casually told me to come after 10 minutes. I replied - "Is there any place to wait ? If not, the only place I can go is to my vehicle which is parked across the street. At this peak commute hour it will take me 5 minutes to cross the road to get into my vehicle and another 5 to get back. I would rather prefer to stand and wait here for 10 more minutes". The guard laughed and pointed me to a waiting area - "SAARE (Sir), please take a seat there". Sense of humor helps.
When I loaded some Airtel minutes to my local mobile (cell) phone, I was prompted to speak out my phone no. Speaking "96688" as nine-six-six-eight-eight" is often frowned upon and not properly understood. You need to pronounce 66 as "Double 6", 88 as "double 8" and so on. Being out of touch with the milieu for a while, it took me a while to figure this out.
This eminent writer R K Laxman sited this reason for him to stay back in India when he had the option to settle abroad - "Where on earth you will find so many variety of characters to write about !!!" He wasn't far from truth. No place under sun can match India in the richness of flora, fauna, chaos and characters to write about. Often chaos and disorder brings the fun and frolic out of life rather than orderly tidiness.
Overall my trip to India went well. Thanksfully no RT-PCR test before boarding flight, a requirement during the Covid Pandemic days. Though bitten by mosquitos multiple times so far no symptom of any disease. Ran lot of errands, did some charity work. The feeling was more satisfying than visiting a temple.
Met lot of friends and relatives. Made a trip to my native villages where I sat cross-legged after a long time to savor the local temple food, the taste of which beats food from any 5-star hotel by miles. Attended a marriage reception where I sampled more than a dozen of items, followed by MEETHA PAN (sweet betel). Hardly anyone stood on line (queue) at the food stalls. Many just hung around close to server so that they can take a second help without having to go back in the line.
What's the similarities between a vacation, a consulting assignment and life ? All have a start date and an end date. Like all good things in life a vacation has to come to an end. Before vacation one is rejuvenated and filled with energy. Towards the end of the trip one is jaded, somewhat depressed. There is always an inherently internal wish you had a few more days to spent. Three, four or five weeks, however long you stay it is never enough.
In the wee hours of the trip it's always the endless cycle of last minute shopping, meeting friends and relatives, run errands, packing, weighing, repacking and re-weighing of luggages. Now the time has arrived to bid adieu to my motherland. Good Bye India. See you later...
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