While crunching on Cuttack Mixture and washing it down sipping my morning cuppa tea, I was watching the local high decibel Odia News channels churning out non-stop nonsense. They give me more headaches than any cold virus. At middle of the Odia news in a prominent news channel, suddenly the screen flashed in English "BREAKING NEWS". It can very well be transliterated literary as BHANGA KHABARA (broken news), most appropriately describing the way our Odia anchors and newsreaders speak in needless accented, broken Odia. It's a new fad here these days which sounds so cool and pure Odia sounds so GAUNLIA (village like) to many.
Some "Breaking News" are outrightly funny -
SASHU SAHITA JWAIN FERAR" (Mother-in-law eloped with son-in-law). "SARAPANCHA KU NISTUKA MADA" (The village head being thoroughly thrashed), "UTYAKTA JANATA BHANDA BABAJI RA DAADHI KAATI DELE" (irate mob cut the beard of a fake Sadhu). And not so amusing pieces like "SAANA BHAI RA TANGIA CHOTA RE BADA BHAIRA MRUTYU" (Younger brother kills the elder one using an axe). And more followed, like DURDANTA APARADHI CHAKULI GIRAF (Notorious criminal CHAKULI has been arrested), NAKALI GUTHKA COMPANY UPARE POLICE RA CHADHAU (police raid on fake chewing tobacco company). MATI CHHANTI Road Romeo" - Eve teasers on prowl harassing girls on roads in epidemic proportion.
I had my tryst with a bunch of Road Romeos few years back. One summer evening after a bout of fresh monsoon rains my wife, son and I stepped out, waiting on the street right next to our house for our Uber ride. Three guys on a motorcycle started oggling at Tanujaa. No sooner they saw her, than their heads turned in unison by 90 degree towards her, like they hadn't seen any girl before in life.
All of sudden their pillion stumbled a pothole filled with ankle deep water. Distracted, one of them fell on the muddy poodle, while the other two got busy extricating their buddy from the mess. We had a hearty laugh at the fallen road Romeo's expense. Monsoon has its share of fun and joy.
On the optimistic side, on local newspaper I came across the news of Bhubaneswar Municipal Corporation (BMC) is planning to neuter stray dogs on a war footing basis, with 600-700 dogs targeted in a day. That's a steep target but a step in the right direction. Though an uncontrolled boom in their population is causing traffic hazards and rabies, I am strictly against culling poor stray dogs. May BMC known for more PAAPA than PUNYA (pious act) than PUNYA, they are doing the right thing. May God bless the poor doggies.
Hope BMC gets more proactive and does something about the mosquitos 🦟 menace. Plenty of them are swarming around savoring my sweet blood further sweetened by the plethora of sweets I am devouring. They are champion at humming flattering tune around ears, immediately followed by backstabbing, an art they have perfected living among the humans. As we have covered our windows with nets, not many can get inside our house. Those who manage to get in I mercilessly clap them to death. But drunk with blood like the legendary demon RAKTABIRJYA, hundreds of mosquitos sprout from each one of them you kill.
At Unit IV fish market my friend introduced me to a person -"This is Sambeet, my friend visiting from America". I had a chit chat with the guy for few minutes in pure, unadulterated Odia after which he replied "APANA LAGU NAHANTI AMERICA RU ASILA BHALIA", you don't seem to have come from America. I retorted back - "What makes you think so" ! He responded - "APANA BADHIA ODIA KAHUCHANTI", you are speaking flawless Odia. I took it as a compliment.
He made a point. More and more NROs from my generation now a days speak less and less Odia among themselves - They drink PHEPSI (Pepsi in American accent), drive THOYOTHA (Toyota), and punch their Odia sentences with a liberal dosage of "Oh Boy, Oh Gosh, Oh man" and so on. The more you pronounce "P" as "Ph", "T" as "Th", the more American you are. So as long as I am on "Jagannath Land", I take opportunity to converse in Odia with the commoners here before I return back to the "Jesus Land". More later....
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