Every relationship will get boring after you’ve been together for years. This is a reality that often goes unspoken. Relationships, no matter how passionate they start, eventually settle into routine. Familiarity breeds contempt, though the degree of contempt can vary. The initial thrill, the butterflies, the constant excitement, they all slowly fade away as life takes its own course.
But that doesn’t mean the relationship is failing; it means it’s evolving. A relationship isn’t supposed to stay in that honeymoon phase forever. It is meant to grow deeper, richer, more profound over time, age and mature like fine wine and cheese. And yes, sometimes it gets mundane, but that’s where the real love begins— when you can find comfort and beauty in the ordinary moments together.
Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a commitment, to love every day, physically or emotionally. We are often sold this idea that love is purely a feeling - a constant state of euphoria and passion. But the truth is, such feelings come and go, like flashes of lightning during a thunderstorm on a summer night. There will be days when love feels effortless, smooth and silky, but there will also be days when it feels like work. That’s because real love isn’t just about how you feel in a moment; it is about the choices you make every single day to stay committed - to show up and to be present. It’s about continuing to love, even when life throws challenges your way, even when your partner isn’t at his or her best, and even when it gets tough. Love is action. It’s what you do, not just what you feel.
Relationships aren’t always easy. They require effort, patience, mutual trust, respect and understanding. That’s normal. It is not supposed to be perfect, the goal post shifting all the time. Relationship is about growth, both individually and together. The key is to remember that the hard times are just as much a part of the journey as the good times. They don’t mean the relationship is broken—they mean it’s a perpetual work in progress.
People tend to quit when it stops being fun, and they go look for someone else because "the spark is gone." In today’s world, we are conditioned to chase the next thrill, the next rush of excitement. So, when the initial mojo evaporates in a relationship, many people think it’s a sign to move on. But that new spark has an expiry date too. It is perennially fleeting. It’s the novelty of something new, not the foundation of lasting love. Real love is about what happens after the novelty fades—when you no longer rely on infatuation but on the deeper connection you’ve built over time.
The idea that love should always feel exciting and new is a myth. True love isn’t about constantly chasing sparks; it’s about building a firewall that can withstand the storms. Real love is about weathering the storms together, not running at the first sign of difficulty. It’s about digging in, standing firm, and choosing to stay, even when it would be easier to walk away.
Love, like friendship is a two-way street. You can't clap using one hand. It takes two to tango. If you want someone to be there for you in your worst moments, to stand by you when you’re not at your best, then you must be willing to reciprocate and do the same. Love isn’t about receiving—it is about giving. It’s about being the kind and caring to your partner, offering grace, patience and understanding, even when it feels undeserved. True love doesn’t waver based on convenience. It’s steadfast, even in the hardest moments. Real love doesn’t fade when the spark is gone. It deepens through commitment, grows through patience, and lasts through every season of life. This is the best antidote to myriads of midlife crisis I come across these days.
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