I have discovered a distinct similarity between the Odias and the Americans. In Odisha many refer to their bosses and fathers (often father-in-laws) as a BUDHA, meaning the Old man. For the boss and father-in-law the address is mostly critical and rarely affectionate. For father it is mostly the other way round. A few Americans I have come across address their father as "My Old Man". Never heard them using the same term about father-in-law or boss.
I was reminded of this when a friend of mine once told me "You know, my dad was drafted to fight in Nam (Nam stands for for Vietnam. The draft was in the USA before 1970s when all able bodied young Americans had to serve in military. Many including Bill Clinton, Donald Trump dodged the draft). Not sure if in other states of India other than Odisha Dad or Boss is referred to as BUDHA.
In America it is not unusual to address some one as my good ole friend. When I extend the same courtesy to my Indian friends many are not amused. Though they don't express on my face their facial expression tells me "BUDDHA HOGA TERA BAAP" (May your father be old).
I can sense this message telepathically communicated to me in the form of an invisible slap on my wrist or perhaps on my face. Back in good ole days I used to call ladies and gentlemen from my parent's generation as MAUSI (aunties) and MAUSA (uncles). They never used to mind. But it is another story these days (mostly in America). Persons of Indian origin much older than my parents are preferred to be addressed as BHAINA (BHAIYA) or BHAUJA (BHABI). Mausa or Mausi reminds them of someone with gray hair, bald head with a toothless smile, thanks to lack of tobacco chewing and better dental care these days.
Any deviation would be frowned upon with a terse response AMAKU KANA BUDHA KARIDELA (in Odia) or HAME KYA BUDHA BANAADIYA (in Hindi) both contorting "How dare you made us old ?" There is absolutely nothing wrong in feeling young and energetic. 60 is the new 40. But being addressed as Uncle or Aunty does not necessarily make one any younger than being addressed as brother or sister-in-law. It's just their fake vanity and inferiority complex speaking.
Age is a matter of mind, not body or the way someone get addressed by. Anyway, I politely asked them how they would prefer to be addressed. They invariably respond to be addressed as Bhai or Bhauja, thankfully not bro and sis-in-law. The reverse has never happened. No one ever since requested me to be addressed as a Mausa or Mausi in America.
I think this culture is slowly permeated back home and "Mausa/Mausi" calls could soon become extinct as our Royal Bengal tiger. Often such addressing depends upon a person' s attire and lingo of communication. A gentleman wearing a LUNGI or DHOTI (loincloth wrapped around waist, an attire conducive to the Indian clime), speaking the vernacular language is addressed as Mausa.
Wearing trousers or shorts elevates him to the status of an Uncle. A lady in Saree is Mausi but becomes an Aunty in Scott. I would care less if someone calls me a Mausa or Uncle. It hardly impacts my age or ego. As the last nail is hit on the coffin of the popular "Mausa and Mausa", let that coffin be mine. I would love to be remembered as the last Mausa who once roamed free in this world.
It is quite normal for a person to age. Time flies, waiting for none. It is also normal for a woman to hide her age. There is a saying "Never ask a man his salary and woman her age". But this tendency to hide one's age has slowly percolated to the male territory. There was this guy who was 29 in 1999. He was still unmarried in 2005. I asked him why haven't you married yet. He said "I am only 29". I replied "Well, you were 29 in 1999 and still 29 in 2005. Time has taken a vacation in your case".
Remembered another Odia Dhaga (adage) about "Sugar Daddies" - the older husbands of much younger wives.
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