Happy New Year - 2019

The year 2018 paves way for the next teen year of the Millennium 2019. While we step into the year, we don't know what's ahead, what's in store for us. As the old man 2018 bends his spine and extends his hand to open the door to welcome the New Year, it's time for some introspection. 

A la getting rid off old cloths for the new ones, the soul moving from one body to another as famously extolled by Lord Krishna in the BHAGWAT GITA and other Hindu Scriptues, 2019 will be reborn yet again at midnight tonight. The year dawns as the cherubic smile of a newborn, as another number is added to its age in the form of a New Year.

But hardly anything ever changes. Life trudges ahead as just the same shit, different day with different color and texture. Hardly anything cataclysmically different happens, rather more or less the status quo is maintained. I don't make any New year promises to me as I don't and can't keep them.

We may forget history but we don't forget to repeat it year after year. Similar to this starting stanza of the Kishore's song

EK RUT AAE, EK RUT JAAE PHIR,
MOUSAM BADLENA, BADLE NASEEB.

"One season comes and another goes,
Seasons change not the fateful woes".

This year came and went with a mixed bag of good, bad and ugly for me, with additional baggage of memories to roll into next year. Made new friends, revived old ones and lost a few near and dear ones, once and for all. Yet the year comes with this stark reminder - life goes downhill from here, tasks become uphill and years are numbered before I go over the hill.

To me, almost all the New Year wishes expressed over the years have been pleasant enough to makes them forgettable. Homo Sapien's inherent instinct is to remember the unpleasant ones. I being no exception - remember this one from 1st January,1982. On the first New Year after his marriage to Diana, Prince Charles wished the nosey British Paparazzi, "Have a Nasty New Year".

But I don't have to be nasty. So let me repeat the forgettable wish, as I do not forget to do at the end of every year - HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR ahead and stay blessed.

Thackaray - The movie

The difference between Indian and Western Culture starts with toilet - they use commode and we squat. It was said by non other than Bal Thackeray, the controversial Siv Sena leader from Maharashtra. I was reminded of this monologue of him from one of his interviews as I watched the trailer of his biopic Thackeray, both in Hindi and Marathi.

Awaaz kunacha? Shiv Sena cha! (Whose voice is it? The Shiv Sena's!)' - the self proclaimed Tiger roars in the Marathi version of the movie. He gets bolder when he leaves no stones unturned against South Indians in Mumbai with his diatribe "UTTHAO LUNGI, BAJAO PUNGI" (Lift their Lungi and Kick their ass), alluding to the attire of mostly Tamil and Malayali immigrants in Bombay. From South Indians whom he described as YENDU GENDU WALE poking fun at their accents to Muslims and BHAIYYAs the deregotively described cowbelt immigrants to Bombay from Bihar and UP, Bal Thackeray spared no one.

In one of his rare praises on a Muslim, he eulogized Abdul Hamid, the hero of India's war against Pakistan in 1965 while otherwise being virulently and overtly anti Muslim. Once he openly questioned the shops being closed in Muslim dominated Bhendi Bazaar area after the Pakistani dictator Zia Ul Haq died in 1988 and bursting of fireworks in the Muslim dominated areas when Pakistan regularly defeated India in cricket matches in the late 1980s. He also revered Hitler for the German's love for his nation, though he described the killing of the Jews as ghastly.

On occasions he was Congress friendly describing Indira Gandhi as a strong lady for carving out Bangladesh from his bette noire Pakistan. Congress and Industrialists of Bombay used him to break the backbone of Worker Unions who under the leadership of George Fernandez and Dutta Samant (later assassinated) would bring Bombay to as screeching halt with lightning strikes. Siv Sena goons under Thackeray's leadership straightened out the Commies. Interestingly, a known hater of outsiders was soft on Gujjus who dominated business of Bombay with his utterance - one should not bite the hand which feeds you.

In one of his press conferences, a rookie reporter addressed him as 'Bal Thackeray'. The Sena chieftain sternly intervened to insist that he must be called 'Balasaheb Thackeray'.

Training his big eyeballs piercing through thick glasses he told in a chilling tone to the young Journalist, 'Mee tuzhya borabar lahanpani gotya nahi khel lo (I didn't play marbles with you during my childhood).'

The implication was clear, the threat distinct. 'Okay, Saheb,' came the meek reply.

Khushwant Singh, the eminent Sikh writer and no fan of Bal Thackeray inadvertently took on the later when he wrote that Shivaji needlessly killed Afzal Khan when the burly Muslim general came to embrace him. The furious Shiv Sena chief ordered copies of the Periodicals which carried the Sardar's article burnt on the  streets of Bombay.

Ironically the role of Bal Thackeray, also known as Senpati is played by Nawazuddin Siddiqui, a Muslim from the State of UP - neither the community and people from the state which the Maratha leader was fond of. It denotes that the secular fabric of India is intact in its art and culture. Being a lover of biopics - it will be interesting to watch the movie, come January.

Himalayas - Our Protector

It is a balmy 62 degree (16° Centigrade) this morning warmed by the air influx from Gulf packed with moisture - a far cry from 36 degrees (2° Centigrade) couple of days or so back. Weather in America can swing like pendulum, a la the mood swings of a woman.

It's not uncommon for the temperature in America to plummet drastically in a short time, as unlike India there is no Himalayas in North to protect the cold winds from the arctic blasting its way through. Similarly warm air from the gulf in South can suddenly make you feel like Spring in middle of winter. 

Unlike US which has a varying weather pattern, India has a distinct weather pattern - thanks to the Himalayas standing tall as a barrier in North protecting it from from the marauding Siberian chill, while the runt Rocky Mountains in USA hardly helps to prevent the cold intrusion from Canadian artic.

The High Himalayas, with its Mt. Everest at its highest point of 29,000 feet, runs East to the West, acting as a natural barrier to India from the bitter cold winds coming from Siberia and Pamir plateau. The tallest mountain range in the world gives India a unique geographical identity, keeping it warmer compared the other places in the world along the similar latitude.

It explains why Calcutta is warmer than Canton in China and Jaipur is warmer than Jacksonville, Florida - though they are in identical latitudes. The gigantic mountain range also keeps the monsoon restricted to the Indian subcontinent, providing ample rains during the summer months, while rest of the season it is mostly dry.

The benevolence of His Majesty, the High and Mighty Himalayas doesn't end there. It protected us from the evil eyes of Chengiz Khan from Mongol days who could have ravaged India like Shakti Kapoor does to his rape victims in Bollywood movies. Only due to limited access via Khybar pass we stayed better protected from many, if not all invaders. Persian, Turks, Afghans, Moguls in form of Taimur Lung, Mahmud of Ghazni, Ghori, Babar and Muhammad Shah et all looted or occupied us. British did the same, but came via the sea route.

Yet Himalayas has done its job of protecting us. Otherwise, half of us would be of Mongoloid origin, speaking Chinese today. In those days sans contraception, the Kings sired broods of bastards out of wedlock. It is said the biggest such contributor was Genghiz Khan, the marauder of Central Asia, who sowed his oats wide enough to be traced from the entire Eurasian Ukraine to the Middle Kingdom China. Thanks to the high mountains of Himalayas, his range of spread remained land locked, never crossed the barrier of the highest mountain chain of the world to reach Indian Subcontinent. Take a bow to our natural Northern frontier protector.

Trump's Sudden Declaration of win over ISIS

Trump suddenly announced withdrawal of troops from Syria on the basis of his self proclaimed win over ISIS. This is far from the truth. The decision of the mercurial president of the United states is both premature and preposterous.

It is actually Trump's Christmas gift to his master Putin who controls American President as his Poodle Dog (on top of that Trump also announced waiver of US sanctions from couple of Russian Oligarchs close to Putin to keep the  Russian dictator warm and fuzzy)

ISIS is like whack a mole. You whack one, another bunch pop up. It is akin to RAKTA BIRJYA RAKHYASA (Blood seed Demon) described in the Hindu mythology. He was granted a boon by one of the Trinity Gods - that if one drop of his blood hits the ground thousands of the Demon's clones prop up. Similarly, you think ISIS is finished, it manages to raise its ugly head.

In reality it is far from finished. A month ago I met a soldier who had just returned from Afghanistan where he had a stint as part of Special Operations force. According to him - come Spring, ISIS never fails to springs a surprise or two. 

He had several interesting anecdotes to narrate. His Special Ops team have fought with both Talibans and ISIS. Talibans when sense defeat, feel outgunned and outnumbered flee to fight another day. Per the special op guy - Talibans who are trained across the border, an euphemism for Pakistan are told to back out when their opponent has an upper hand. It is a smart ploy as Pakistan doesn't want to lose their assets and want them to fight another day rather than die fighting a better equipped adversary.

In contrast, the ISIS volunteers fire at the Apache Helicopters and motivated enough to fight until death. They even continue their suicidal fight rather than surrender or flee, even if they know they are doomed. ISIS are akin to our Rajputs in Medieval India who would launch a frontal attack and fight until death rather take a rain check to fight another day. The Talibans are like our Maratha warrior Shivaji - fight guerilla warfare and pragmatic to do a tactical retreat when facing reverses to come back to fight on a later day.

I am not saying that US should get entangled in all imbroglios in the world, especially in the messy Middle - East. But this abrupt announcement of withdrawal of US troop withdrawal and victory is the reflection of an idiotic mindset of our Commander-in-Chief who is clueless about Foreign policy ( on domestic matters as well). As absolute power can corrupt absolutely, an absolute moron can destroy a nation absolutely.

Reel life from the real life

It is said people try to copycat movies into real life. Often it's other way round. A lot of movies are known to have lifted chapters from real life into reel life with plenty of connections and connotations.

A Bollywood movie named KHATTA MEETHA (Sweet and Sour) is at best passable. Shot in a small town of Maharashtra, the actor Akshay Kumar is a simple contractor struggling to meet his ends engulfed by a corrupt system both outside and inside his home - where his brother and brother-in-law curry favor with government officials by entertaining them in his house.

One late evening Akshay Kumar returns home to see his unmarried sister forced to serve alcoholic drinks to government officers and petty politicians who are entertained because they can get men of his household some lucrative contracts. As she bends over to pour a drink, the lusty lot take a break from the goblets and gossips to lasciviously peep at her curves. The peeved brother in Askhay Kumar promptly orders her to go inside to the chagrin of the guests and gives them a piece of his mouth, but can't buy peace in his house for shooting straight.

Such incidents are not uncommon in India. Decades back, the son of a Government Contractor complained about similar unpleasant situations. His father used to throw lavish parties for Who's Who of the time who can pass his bills. One of them was a BADA SAARE (Big Officials) well into his fifties drank himself silly and while picking his nose and scratching his private parts in public was known to pass lewd remarks disguised as double entendres to females old enough to be his daughters. 

Yet SAARE (Sir) had to be tolerated and kept in good humor. It's common knowledge that some of our Babus (bureaucrats) and Journos are champion freeloaders - great at imbibing alcohol at the cost of other's money. Long story short - his father tolerated this officer's nuisance as an unavoidable professional hazard and collateral damage to his self esteem in spite of the later creating embarassing scenes.

In another part of the movie, Akhay Kumar's now estranged girl friend taunts him for not thinking like an Indian. He retorts back - "Who tells we are Indians. We are Marathi, Punjabi, Tamil and Bengalis first. Only time we think and feel like Indians is when India plays cricket against Pakistan". 

A very pertinent monologue indeed. The actor wasn't far from truth. Nothing gets India more united and brings the best patriotism out of us than the game of cricket (to a lesser extent Hockey), especially an Indo - Pak encounter. It's arguably the only instance we don't see ourselves as a Punjabi, Marathi, Tamil or Odia, rather as Indians, thanks to our Western neighbor.

Sunil Gavaskar, an eminent cricket player of yesteryear once said - Indian movies are made for the masses by asses. Whatever he maint, he probably forgot that the asses come from masses, so also their ideas.

World Cup Hockey concludes in Odisha

Barring few hiccups and glitches related to the sale of tickets the Hockey World Cup at Bhubaneswar seems to be going well, with only a day left before the final whistle signals the end of the event.

The Opening ceremony was mostly well organized with our usual tendency to over do and go overboard with excessive Razzmatazz and Zamboree. This global eveny will go a long way in putting a hitherto unknown state of India on the world map, in spite of national media not giving the tournament its due coverage, busy counting the votes in the Assembly Elections and number of times Taimur Ali Khan, a Bollywood celebrities' kid farts and burps a day.

I have seen much more coverage on social media about Madhuri's dance, Sah Rukh's monologues and Salman's histrionics in Odisha during the gala opening ceremony - but rarely any decent coverage or analysis of the game by the so called fans. Some complained about Off Side when goals were scored, without realizing that there is no "off side" in hockey.  For most of them, going to Kalinga Stadium is akin going to a local MELA (Fair) - to hang out, have some fun and food, and for the young and some old alike to ogle and flirt with girls. 

Many spectators lack the basic knowledge and understanding of the game to go beyond shallow reporting - often going overboard with inordinately superlative accolates on team India's performance in the initial stages of the tournament. Many even predicted India lifting the Cup, a bit premature and preposterous assessment considering our long history of not winning a major tournament since 1975 - a good 43 years back.

In Odia there is a saying - NAI NA DEKHUNU LANGALA (becoming naked before seeing the river). It simply means jumping into conclusion way too soon. After a brisk and promising start, true to our self we faltered against Netherlands in the all important Quarterfinal. We failed to take advantage of our home advantage which doesn't come often. Our cup of woe relentlessly continues.

Yet it is a good beginning. The Indian side has been constantly improving though it needs a dose of killer instinct in the veins wrapped around our Hockey sticks. It's time we bring a foreign coach to infuse professionalism - for we have a tendency to listen better to the outsiders than our own. The Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said two things are important in war - Patience and Time. The same can be extended to modern day Sports. 

Assembly Elections results 2018

Not to be left behind with analysis of the outcome of the just concluded Assembly elections in India - here is mine, the 3,458,903th one on the social media.

Election results clearly portrays BJP as the loser and Congress an winner, but an Abysmal one - unable to capitalize much on the anti incumbency factor. Congress is going to have a much tougher opposition now.

Now BJP needs to take a crash course from Naveen Patnaik, the Chief Minister of Odisha and BJD Supremo. A smart guy, he has clearly figured it out that Politics is a matter of perception. True or perceived, the people whose vote matters in the state of Odisha believe that their Chief Minister is doing a commendable job - with virtually no visible anti incumbency. People who are critical of him hardly vote, explained by the fact that in the last Election the polling in Bhubaneswar was 29% vis a vis 70% in the rest of the state. Ican bet he is assured of a record 5th term, probably equallying Jyoti Basu's record in Bengal.

Hope the Congress government performs well in the states it just won. Otherwise, it won't take BJP, a cadre based party very long to bounce back to power. But whether the new CMs, shadowed by their High Command (an euphemism for the Gandhi family) will have a free hand in governing is yet to be seen.

How Honorable

A few days ago I shared on a Whatsapp group a viral picture of actor Salman Khan posing with the Chief Minister of Odisha with a funny caption. A person did not like it, responding - "Please don't make fun of our Honorable Chief Minister".

The term "Honorable" is probably the most overrated word in India, probably after "Sir". It is most commonly used by Government employess in India who address even mundane MPs and MLAs as Honorable So and So. It makes sense when "Honorable" is reserved for the deserved and reserved few, e.g., the President, Prime Minister and the Justices who are addressed as "Your Honor". 

But to address everyone as Honorable a la a Dumb addresses the Dumber as "Sir" where the honorable one is not even present simply reeks of British era sycophancy (it's another matter, an overwhelming majority of them are anything but honorable but often despicable). It is also our eager obsequiousness and hero worship of those who we elect to serve us, not rule us prevents us from making caricature of our leaders. Poking fun at the folks at helm of affairs is perfectly healthy, unless you live in Kim's North Korean Hermit kingdom or in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. If this tendency is not curbed, at this rate satirists and cartoonists will be soon out of business.

So, why is this tendency to put our leaders on an untouchable pedestal and treating them as demi Gods who are above criticism and sarcasm ? It can be traced back to our long occupation and slavery outsiders - from Afghans, Turks, Mughals to British who ruled us over centuries. There used to be a hiatus between the rulers and the ruled. As the rulers did not have an understanding of the local language and culture, they succinctly cultivated a class of DALAALs (middlemen-cum-touts) who they needed as "go betweens" to communicate the message from the Ruler to the Ruled and vice versa.  

Nothing much has changed over the years, even years after independence in the age of Smartphones and Social media. From the Badal dynasty of Punjab in North to Karunanidhi dynasty in South, from the Biju Dynasty in East, to Siv Sena Dynasty in West - Kingship in form of Kinship goes in guise of democracy. The ever omnipresent middlemen have jumped in to fill in the void left after the outsiders left. They succinctly act as the conduit, yet reinforcing the age old adage, "History repeats itself, those who forget history are condemned to repeat".

The stigma of the thousand plus years of foreign rule won't go so easily only after 70 years of independence.  It will take some more years of independence to taste its flavor and get over the hangover of the "Superior ruler must rule over the inferior subjects". This then...

Loke Bolibe Kana - What people would say

Most Odias from our generation might be familiar with this Odia short story from our High school days, LOKE BOLIBE KANA (What the people will say) written by Sri Godabarisha Mahapatra. 

It starts with "CHANDA MUNDA KU AUNSI AUNSI" (scratching his bald head). To make this short story short, set in an Odisha village this man seen rubbing his bald head is in a classic quandary. His brother with whom he had a turbulent relationship has just passed away, his dead body lying on his veranda.

The guy is in a dilemma, whether he should take his corpse for cremation or not. Though he never had a good relationship with his sibling, he still has to do his duty. Otherwise, LOKE BOLIBE KANA (What the people will say) ?

Very powerful story indeed. My teenage mind those days was not able to fully comprehend and fathom the ethos and pathos associated with the story. But now I can visualize the mastery of the writer, the legendary Godabarisa, who in this short story set up nearly a century ago has captured an inherent human paradox. 

We now live in a smart phone, social media driven world where thoughts fly faster than twinkle of an eye. Technology has reached its zenith, but the basic human nature has not changed. We may not agree, nor enjoy doing day in day out in our personal and professional life dealing with A Grade A - holes. But just do it for the heck and sake of LOKE BOLIBE KANA (What the people will say) - to prevent folks from saying anything which may be counted against our image, the object be damned.

It may not be any of others business, yet we succumb to the norms of the milieu. Mortal men, immortal writing. Kudos to Sri Godabarisha Mohapatra, you were way ahead of your time.