On my way back to Bhubaneswar from our ancestral village I passed a spot on the roadside, memories of which I will carry to grave. It was during one of my trips years ago shortly after I arrived in Bhubaneswar, I was pulled to visit Jagannath Temple in Puri on a special occasion.
Severely jet lagged and constipated, I had ate a late lunch of MAHAPRASAD (The great offering) inside the Jagannath temple. The meal was a high fiber diet consisting of concentrated DAALI (lentil), BESARA & MAHURA (Temple curry of variety of mixed veggies) and SAAGA (Leafy greens).
It was late afternoon when we drove back home. My constipated stomach started gurgling as the high fibre content had its effect, now ready to burst itself out like the Hirakud Dam which can't hold any longer after a heavy monsoon downpour. The floodgates were ready to open any moment but I was confident that with about 20 miles or so to go, I can hold on.
Soon discovered that I was at the wrong place at wrong time. Wrong place - every minute countdown to those twenty miles seemed eternal, each miles passing looked like an hour. If Einstein ever went through this he could have replaced his simple explanation of his Theory of Relativity by - "Time stops when the urge to shit doesn't stop".
Wrong time - My watch procalimed it was 4.30 PM in afternoon, that would be early morning in America. My body clock not yet used to Indian time was still US mode and hardly helped me by adding fuel to food, further triggering the bowel movement which was in no mood to relent.
I instructed the driver of the vehicle to stop at a relatively secluded spot, grabbed his Red GAMUCHA (loin cloth) and ran behind one of the bushes. I ran so fast that I could have beaten Ussain Bolt to a seconds behind me. As a sqatted, I found couple of mosquitoes sitting happily on my particular body part where I dare not slap.
The Chinese philosopher's saying - "When a Mosquito seats on your Balls then you consider peace as an option". It also reminded me of a t reminded me of my teenage days when I was hit by a cricket ball down under. So rather than swatting them away or clapping them to death, I let the mosquitoes feast on my private part in public. I suddenly discovered myself as the most tolerant person on earth.
Meanwhile I attracted the attention of a stray dog sleeping nearby who gaped at me with a look filled with surprise and suspicion, giving me a scare for a moment. The mongrel now stood up, extending the legs looked up and yawned "Yeeeeeooooo", shook itself of dirt, scratched it's ears using its hind legs.
Thankfully he decided not to chase me. He turned in a different direction and strolled away. Otherwise, what a sight it would have been !!! Me running through the paddy fields, chased by the canine, with the GAMUCHA slowly slipping away from my waist. If caught on video, it would gone viral with a million pus hit in no time.
Moments later I was back in the car, a much relieved and relaxed person after relieving myself. Nature's call can take you back to nature - exposing our helplessness. How helpless are we in front of nature. An innocuous meal of simple, vegetarian temple food almost made me shit in my pants. Nature is the world's best leveller. More later...
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