RIP George Fernandes

George Fernandes, the legendary Socialist who had took on formidable opponents throughout his career died today. The man was a Trade Union leader who could bring Bombay (now Mumbai) to a screeching halt with his call for lightning strikes, until Siv Sena broke the backbone of Communist led Trade unions.

He was arrested, jailed and harassed by Indira Gandhi during Emergency days. He was released before the 1977 Elections when the Janata Party of which he was part off swept entire North India where Congress won 228 out of 229 seats, with the Congress candidate and the present CM of Madhya Pradesh Kamal Nath winning the solidarity seat in the entire North India from Chhindwara. Both Indira Gandhi and her heir apparent Sanjay Gandhi were soundly defeated, the former by a political buffoon named Raj Narain.

George Fernandes was rewarded as a Minister. Soon after he banished IBM and Coca Cola from India to prove his credence to Socialism. Those were the days Government was the biggest employer with a Hindu rate of growth. George was just playing to the gallery. 

Over the years he grew more pragmatic, though the maverick and socialist in him never died. In the early part of his tenure as defence minister in Vajpayee's ministry, Fernandes was once very pissed off when he came to know that two bureaucrats in the ministry's finance department were sitting on a file for procurement of snow scooters for soldiers in Siachen.

Officials who worked with Fernandes said he immediately issued orders for sending the two officials to the Siachen glacier to have a first hand experience of soldiers' life there.

He sent defence ministry officials on familiarisation trips to various parts of Jammu and Kashmir and to the areas bordering China in Arunachal to see for themselves the difficulties faced by border guards, sizing the Babus up.

Last few years he had been allegedly suffering from Parkinson's disease. With his demise India lost a pan Indian politician who ran for office from North (Bihar), South (Bangalore) and West (Bombay). RIP George Fernandes.

Naveen Patnaik - Heck of a lucky guy

Though invited, Naveen Patnaik, the CM of Odisha and the Scion of Biju Dynasty did not attend the mega opposition rally in Calcutta initiated by the mercurial Mamata Banerjee. He has succinctly stuck to his often quipped monologue - "We are equidistant from both BJP and Congress".

It makes a whole lot of sense for him to do so. The King of Kalinga has nothing to gain by joining the opposition rally. The man is sitting pretty on his throne, all set to win a record 5th term in a few months. His Lok Sabha tally won't go below 16, even in the worst case scenario - giving him immense bargaining power in a prospective hung Parliament. 

Come May, he could very well be the most sought after person in Delhi, even a king maker - having carved his niche and earned the respect of his tribe by beating the anti incumbency factor time and again. King in his own turf he doesn't run to politicians, the politicians run to him as leaders of different hue and color flock to his doorstep. Being cool, aloof and secretive he keeps others guessing, keeping his cards close to his chest and an aura of enigma encapsulating him.

The man is in complete control of his party and kingdom. I call it kingdom, as a la a King he has doles out freebies and freebies to keep a lazy and docile subjects complacent and happy. America is not the land of free, Odisha is. He is the perfect proposition to a feudal state which thrives on the notion that a Superior King Must rule over the inferior Subjects. At the same time he has been successful in poaching local MLAs, leaders, satraps from the opposition parties in droves - having mastered the practice of divide and conquer. 

Let's cut the crap and the hypocrisy - no one joins politics these days to serve the people and nation, rather to warm their pockets. With no chance of BJP or Congress forming the government in Odisha in the near future, the leaders in opposition see a better chance in joining the ruling party which will guarantee a secured future, rather than sticking to the losing wicket. Life is short and no Neta worth his salt, at least in Odisha has the vision and patience to play long innings. Join the flow and make some bucks as long as the BJD Supremo's aura lasts.

With wind firmly behind him and everything going well, no one is better placed than Naveen in the upcoming elections in India. Fortunately for him he is all set to kill two birds using one stone as both Assembly and Parliamentary elections are held simultaneously - resulting in the unchallenged King of a State and the most sought after man at center. Heck of one lucky guy. Even his detractors grudgingly admit the same.

Cinema, Cigarette and Cycle

During our childhood days on India the troika of Cinema, Cigarette and Cycle (later motor cycle or bike) was regarded as paraphernalia of a CHHATARA, a term in Odia meaning Vagabond with a tendency to be a girl chaser.

Watching Cinema, along with Hippie Hair style was considered as a ticket towards unsecured future for men during the 1970s. A well mannered boy was only supposed to watch occasional movies, preferably family oriented - JAI SANTOSHIMA or VEER HANUMAN kind of movies, only after the culmination of major academics exams. 

Keeping long Hippie style hair was considered to be rude and bad manner of presenting oneself in front of elders. As a 10 year old I was anything but a CHHATARA. Yet the overgrown hair inadvertenly curled around my ears lead my grandfather soundly chastise me -  "HIPPIE BAALA KAHIKI RAKHICHU ? CHHATARA HABU KIRE" (Why have you kept Hippie style ? Are you planning on becoming a Vagabond ?". I had no such intention, but promptly had a hair cut.

Cigarette start with curiosity in teenage days as many get their hand in smoking. Some slowly fall addicted to it. Smoking was considered as another tell-tale sign of going wayward - another step towards being a CHHATARA. The movie actors of those days, including stars like Amitabh Bachhan in Bollywood and Rajnikanth in the South glamorizing the bad habit. 

Smoking in front of elders and seniors was considered a sign of utter disrespect (same as talking looking downward without an eye contact was considered as respectful). So the teenagers smoked in hiding until they be came a slave of their habit to come out of the veneer of secrecy and do it openly. Interestingly chewing PAAN or Chewing Tobacco wrapped in Betel wasn't considered as bad as smoking and need not be done secretly, though it was no less harmful than smoking. Though tobacco is less popular with the youth today with alcohol taking over, the stigma remains. 

Cycle in Odisha defaults to Bicycles, a common mode of transportation for the most young and old alike in 1970s, until Scooters and motor bikes started becoming more and more common and affordable in the 80s. Either way, whether pedalled or motorable, bikes were sign of Freedom for the young to travel far and wide beyond the controlling territory of their parents. It also served as a fast gateway after playing teenage pranks or convenient escape mode post chasing girls - both typical trends of CHHATARA.

Time have changed. Cinema can be viewed at swanky Multiplexes rather than CHARAPOKA (Bedbug) infested movie theaters where the bloodsucking parasites had a feat at the expense of the cine goers. The ubiquitous sight of the audience scratching their private parts in public was not uncommon - thanks to the bedbugs hidden inside the Coconut coir chairs inside the theaters, always chosing to bite the right places in wrong time.

Cigarettes are no more the fad they used to be, with the movie heroes preferring to put lips on their female opposite's than on cigarettes. Bicycles have been long replaced by trendy bikes. The ever transactional CHHATARA has gone through metamorphic transformation in the age of cellular and social media.

The Dilemma of Holiday fat

Holiday season over, I already feel like gaining a few pounds. It brought me some fond memories from past. 

In the year 1996 I came back from a stint in England after adding a few Pound Sterlings to my wallet and a few pounds to my waistline. Everybody back home suggested me to shed some flab except my mother who disputed the idea. She firmly put down her defense - "MO PUARA TIKE SWASTYA HEICHI JAICHI, TAKU MOTA KAHIKI KAHUCHA", my son has become healthy not fat. Like all mothers from our generation gaining weight by their son is a matter of pride. 

A chubby chap is known as KHAIBA PIBA GHARA PILA(in Odia) or KHANE PINE KA GHAR KA LADKA (in Hindi) meaning a boy from a well to do family who liberally spends on food. A slim trim guy is considered as a DHAIN (in local slang it means nincompoop), also often alludes to someone being stingy and a miser(able)one. 

A SWYASTAWALA or healthy son earns accolades for the daughter-in-law from her mother-in-law for feeding him so well. (Normally relationship between these women in family is viewed as friendly as one harbored between a Snake and Mangoose). On the other hand a slim husband can earn the wrath of the mother-in-law. 

Very soon I was to lose much of those SWASTYA I gained. One fine evening I gobbled up a dozen GUPCHUP (Odia term for GOLGOPPA or PANIPURI) washed down by LASSI (sweetened yogurt) from a road side stall. Next couple of days I spent controlling the floodgates which opened from both top and bottom end. After the recovery, I felt a lot lighter. My jeans felt no more tight. The road side food did wonders in so less a time which no diet for exercise can do. Now I have to go an extra mile to melt the Holiday fat.

Happy New Year - 2019

The year 2018 paves way for the next teen year of the Millennium 2019. While we step into the year, we don't know what's ahead, what's in store for us. As the old man 2018 bends his spine and extends his hand to open the door to welcome the New Year, it's time for some introspection. 

A la getting rid off old cloths for the new ones, the soul moving from one body to another as famously extolled by Lord Krishna in the BHAGWAT GITA and other Hindu Scriptues, 2019 will be reborn yet again at midnight tonight. The year dawns as the cherubic smile of a newborn, as another number is added to its age in the form of a New Year.

But hardly anything ever changes. Life trudges ahead as just the same shit, different day with different color and texture. Hardly anything cataclysmically different happens, rather more or less the status quo is maintained. I don't make any New year promises to me as I don't and can't keep them.

We may forget history but we don't forget to repeat it year after year. Similar to this starting stanza of the Kishore's song

EK RUT AAE, EK RUT JAAE PHIR,
MOUSAM BADLENA, BADLE NASEEB.

"One season comes and another goes,
Seasons change not the fateful woes".

This year came and went with a mixed bag of good, bad and ugly for me, with additional baggage of memories to roll into next year. Made new friends, revived old ones and lost a few near and dear ones, once and for all. Yet the year comes with this stark reminder - life goes downhill from here, tasks become uphill and years are numbered before I go over the hill.

To me, almost all the New Year wishes expressed over the years have been pleasant enough to makes them forgettable. Homo Sapien's inherent instinct is to remember the unpleasant ones. I being no exception - remember this one from 1st January,1982. On the first New Year after his marriage to Diana, Prince Charles wished the nosey British Paparazzi, "Have a Nasty New Year".

But I don't have to be nasty. So let me repeat the forgettable wish, as I do not forget to do at the end of every year - HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR ahead and stay blessed.

Thackaray - The movie

The difference between Indian and Western Culture starts with toilet - they use commode and we squat. It was said by non other than Bal Thackeray, the controversial Siv Sena leader from Maharashtra. I was reminded of this monologue of him from one of his interviews as I watched the trailer of his biopic Thackeray, both in Hindi and Marathi.

Awaaz kunacha? Shiv Sena cha! (Whose voice is it? The Shiv Sena's!)' - the self proclaimed Tiger roars in the Marathi version of the movie. He gets bolder when he leaves no stones unturned against South Indians in Mumbai with his diatribe "UTTHAO LUNGI, BAJAO PUNGI" (Lift their Lungi and Kick their ass), alluding to the attire of mostly Tamil and Malayali immigrants in Bombay. From South Indians whom he described as YENDU GENDU WALE poking fun at their accents to Muslims and BHAIYYAs the deregotively described cowbelt immigrants to Bombay from Bihar and UP, Bal Thackeray spared no one.

In one of his rare praises on a Muslim, he eulogized Abdul Hamid, the hero of India's war against Pakistan in 1965 while otherwise being virulently and overtly anti Muslim. Once he openly questioned the shops being closed in Muslim dominated Bhendi Bazaar area after the Pakistani dictator Zia Ul Haq died in 1988 and bursting of fireworks in the Muslim dominated areas when Pakistan regularly defeated India in cricket matches in the late 1980s. He also revered Hitler for the German's love for his nation, though he described the killing of the Jews as ghastly.

On occasions he was Congress friendly describing Indira Gandhi as a strong lady for carving out Bangladesh from his bette noire Pakistan. Congress and Industrialists of Bombay used him to break the backbone of Worker Unions who under the leadership of George Fernandez and Dutta Samant (later assassinated) would bring Bombay to as screeching halt with lightning strikes. Siv Sena goons under Thackeray's leadership straightened out the Commies. Interestingly, a known hater of outsiders was soft on Gujjus who dominated business of Bombay with his utterance - one should not bite the hand which feeds you.

In one of his press conferences, a rookie reporter addressed him as 'Bal Thackeray'. The Sena chieftain sternly intervened to insist that he must be called 'Balasaheb Thackeray'.

Training his big eyeballs piercing through thick glasses he told in a chilling tone to the young Journalist, 'Mee tuzhya borabar lahanpani gotya nahi khel lo (I didn't play marbles with you during my childhood).'

The implication was clear, the threat distinct. 'Okay, Saheb,' came the meek reply.

Khushwant Singh, the eminent Sikh writer and no fan of Bal Thackeray inadvertently took on the later when he wrote that Shivaji needlessly killed Afzal Khan when the burly Muslim general came to embrace him. The furious Shiv Sena chief ordered copies of the Periodicals which carried the Sardar's article burnt on the  streets of Bombay.

Ironically the role of Bal Thackeray, also known as Senpati is played by Nawazuddin Siddiqui, a Muslim from the State of UP - neither the community and people from the state which the Maratha leader was fond of. It denotes that the secular fabric of India is intact in its art and culture. Being a lover of biopics - it will be interesting to watch the movie, come January.

Himalayas - Our Protector

It is a balmy 62 degree (16° Centigrade) this morning warmed by the air influx from Gulf packed with moisture - a far cry from 36 degrees (2° Centigrade) couple of days or so back. Weather in America can swing like pendulum, a la the mood swings of a woman.

It's not uncommon for the temperature in America to plummet drastically in a short time, as unlike India there is no Himalayas in North to protect the cold winds from the arctic blasting its way through. Similarly warm air from the gulf in South can suddenly make you feel like Spring in middle of winter. 

Unlike US which has a varying weather pattern, India has a distinct weather pattern - thanks to the Himalayas standing tall as a barrier in North protecting it from from the marauding Siberian chill, while the runt Rocky Mountains in USA hardly helps to prevent the cold intrusion from Canadian artic.

The High Himalayas, with its Mt. Everest at its highest point of 29,000 feet, runs East to the West, acting as a natural barrier to India from the bitter cold winds coming from Siberia and Pamir plateau. The tallest mountain range in the world gives India a unique geographical identity, keeping it warmer compared the other places in the world along the similar latitude.

It explains why Calcutta is warmer than Canton in China and Jaipur is warmer than Jacksonville, Florida - though they are in identical latitudes. The gigantic mountain range also keeps the monsoon restricted to the Indian subcontinent, providing ample rains during the summer months, while rest of the season it is mostly dry.

The benevolence of His Majesty, the High and Mighty Himalayas doesn't end there. It protected us from the evil eyes of Chengiz Khan from Mongol days who could have ravaged India like Shakti Kapoor does to his rape victims in Bollywood movies. Only due to limited access via Khybar pass we stayed better protected from many, if not all invaders. Persian, Turks, Afghans, Moguls in form of Taimur Lung, Mahmud of Ghazni, Ghori, Babar and Muhammad Shah et all looted or occupied us. British did the same, but came via the sea route.

Yet Himalayas has done its job of protecting us. Otherwise, half of us would be of Mongoloid origin, speaking Chinese today. In those days sans contraception, the Kings sired broods of bastards out of wedlock. It is said the biggest such contributor was Genghiz Khan, the marauder of Central Asia, who sowed his oats wide enough to be traced from the entire Eurasian Ukraine to the Middle Kingdom China. Thanks to the high mountains of Himalayas, his range of spread remained land locked, never crossed the barrier of the highest mountain chain of the world to reach Indian Subcontinent. Take a bow to our natural Northern frontier protector.