Kinky stuff and corruption in China

 Recently a Ferrari reportedly going at a speed of 178 mph (285 kmph) was recorded on the radar of Atlanta police. It reminded of this incident little more than a decade ago.

One fine dawn in the year 2012 in Beijing, China a young man, just 23 years of age along with couple of his girlfirends was cruising at a very high speed in a Ferrari following a late night party. The kinky stuff they were supposedly doing inside the fast and fateful moving car led them lose control at the height of excitement (the first responders found their mangled bodies in different stages of undressing) leading to a fateful, fatal crash. 

Nothing unusual in an age where many rave parties of young adults are followed by tragedies, except this young man was the classic case of a "PAISE WALE BAAP KA BIGDA HUA AULAAD" or the Spoilt Brat of a Moneyed Father. He happened to be the only child (China has strictly enforced one child principle since 1970s) of a powerful aid to then Chinese President Hu Jintao. 

A frantic effort for cover up began, but it turned out to be a botched attempt as the news had already gone viral on the Chinese micro-Blogging sites. More infirmation about the government offcial was dug out. Chatters went around, how come someone with a paltry salary of about $2500 or about 1.5 lakh Rupee a month those days could afford a Villa with a Swimming pool at a posh Beijing locality and gifted a Ferrari to his son. (A person earning that much in a 2nd tire city like Bhubaneswar would be considered Middle Class these days). The bureaucrat's salary may be meagre, but not the money the bereaved father possessed through other means. 

Iron curtain is gradually coming up in China, exposing its ugly underbelly. In spite of its success story, China is not immune to the disease of corruption, even though scores of people are hung every year in China on charged of corruption (in India they are at best suspended from their job). 

But I like the approach of their current President Xi Xinping taking the Corruption Bull by Horn before it enters the China Shop. He has even earned a rare praise by Dalai Lama who isn't exactly a fan of Beijing. Some say, the Chinese leader is doing this to fix his political opponents and they might have a point. 

Yet what is commendable is the pragmatic Chinese leaders known for their focused approach are doing something, rather than let the sleeping dog lie. Its authorities have followed hot in heels, going after those who have migrated abroad with money stollen from its coffers. This has led to a decline in the number of applicants to their equivalent of India's Civil services as it has lost its lustre because scope of corruption has gone down.

They have managed to get their hands on some who fled abroad with ill gotten money and extradited them back to China - which is something to take a cue from and replicate by other nations facing similar issues of their financial perpetrators absconding abroad.

Anasara of Lord Jagannath and Shana Purnima

 When there is a pandemic the authorities take steps to quarantine in order to contain and prevent the spread of any disease. Coronavirus had prompted us stay indoor, to go into a phase of self quarantine and social distancing. Classes in schools and colleges were held using on line instructions while of us were instructed to work from home for the unforeseen future. Many restaurants weren't letting customers in, only allowing them to order online or take "to go" meals at drive through pickups. 

However there is nothing new or novel regarding the concept of quarantine in order to stay away from viruses and convalesce. Same happens to Lord Jagannath, our famous Hindu deity of the better known Sri Jagannath temple in Puri, Odisha. The word Jagannath is formed as conjoint (SANDHI) of the two words JAGAT (Universe) + NATH (meaning Lord of the Universe). He is also addressed by several other names by his devotees - CHAKADOLA (Circular eyelids), KAALIA (for his Amber complexion), JAGABANDHU (Friend of Universe), PAITAPABAN and myriads of other names by his devotees. 

A la humans, our Lord Jagannath has a human aspect when he goes on a self imposed quarantine before the famous Rath Jatra (Chariot Festival) which invariably comes in the Gregorian calendar month of June - July. Like a normal human being he eats, takes a shower on SNANA PURNIMA (the full moon day for bath) and falls sick. But unlike humans, the Lord doesn't infect anyone except with infectious BHAKTI (Devotion).

Following this, He suffers from fever for several days until the day of RATHA JATRA when he travels to his MAUSI's (mom's sister) house a few miles away sitting on His chariot NANDIGHOSA. His brother Balabhadra and sister Subhadra also ride with him in separate chariots. 

Coinciding with handful of days prior to the arrival of monsoon, this time in Odisha is accompanied by stifling heat and humidity - perfect concoctions for a viral bug bite as viruses tend to be active in hot and humid weather. This particular phase is locally called as ANASARA GULUGULI (muggy) days. The almost static air, pregnant with water vapor and barely moving a leaf on the trees becomes unbearable. One feels like a melting man with hardly any relief in sight. The local populace take solace from a free Sauna bath for a few days, praying for early advance of monsoon.

Now also we do exactly the same thing - hibernating, socially distancing and staying quarantined, trying to stay safe from the viruses which was symbolized by Sri Jagannath culture. Only difference, CHAKAA AKHI SABU DEKHUCHI (The Round Eyed Lord, as Sri Jagannath is referred to is omniscient and foresees everything). But we, mere humans have no idea what's in store for future.

Current crisis in Pakistan

 I occasionally watch Pakistani channels on the YouTube, curious about what's going on on the other side of our fence, especially in context of the current instability in a country which was part of us only 75 years ago, with which we share a lot in culture, traditions and languages but a turbulent relationship. I take a peek at their milieu, especially at the pretty girls who come to the discussions held on myriad panels they have on TV with a sizable number of women participants. 

It did not go unnoticed to me how charming and pretty the Pakistani girls were. Going by the typical male psych when we men look at a group of girls, our eyes tend to scan for a face which is pretty Just the opposite happens when I look at the Pakistani girls clustered around. My eyes were scouring all these pretty faces to find at least one face which can stand out NOT beautiful. But my hope was soon belied as I didn't encounter any. Damn, every Pakistani girl was pretty - tall, svelte, chisel faced, fair skinned and endowed with elegance par excellence. 

Sorry, ladies. Our Pakistani counterparts beat us by miles. You may blame it on proverbial Odia saying - "GAAN KANIA SINGHANI NAAKI" or "Country girl, phlegm filled nose". Or its Hindi version "GHAR KI MURGI DAL BARABAR" or "chicken cooked at home tastes like boiled lentil". Both mean the same, grass looks greener on the other side of the fence. But the beauty of these Pakistani girls need to be seen in your own eyes rather than visualize in order to vindicate. 

Many girls arrive at the shows veiled in black color Abaya covered from tip to toe. In one such popular show a girl got excited on seeing a performance, started cheering and clapping, breaking into a rapturous delight and suddenly lifted her veil. And voila, she reminded me of this stanza from a Kishore Kumar's song, 

WOH ACHANAK Aa GAYEE

YOON NAZAR KE SAMNE,

JAISE NIKAL AYEE

GHATA SE CHAAND... 

transliterated from Hindustani (mix of Hindi and Urdu). 

"She suddenly arrives

In front of my eyes;

Bolstering my mood

As if moon ventured out of cloud". 

On social matters I was surprised by the closeness they bear with us. They have dowry problem like we have in India, although Islam prohibits dowry (who doesn't want free money). Suppression of women is worse than India. Yet obsession with India is very much in the air, especially about Bollywood, Cricket and Modi - not necessarily in that order. 

But on top their discussion chart is politics (the ex cricket player and playboy Imran Khan is now a player in politics currently surrounded by controversies), followed by talk about their fledgling economy already lying in the ruins. Like us many conspiracy theories going around there, a few blaming Modi behind there current crisis (this is something peddled by their bete noire Modi supporters in India that PM of India by some magic stroke has destroyed Pakistan's economy). A panelist from Lahore said that the flow of American money trickled down to a halt ever since the Yankees left Afghanistan, Pakistan's utility being devalued resulting in the stoppage of inflow of free dollars. I see some logic in this. 

On one panel a discussion was going on about the precarious stage of their economy. All grudgingly agreed that India has gone years ahead, its economy juggernauting towards $3 trillion and counting. The panelist asked - "We hear that India is ready to help us in this economic crisis we are facing. What you all think". "We will rather eat grass, die of starvation. But we will never ever beg from them". Hatred and fascination towards India exist together akin to two sides of a coin. 

I am no fan of Pakistan. But those who glee at their current discomfiture should note that it is in our best interest not to want an unstable Pakistan which could be followed by these utter nightmarish scenarioes happening right next door. 

1. A chaotic Pakistan may lead to a bad refusee scenario which could get worse, putting pressure on our fragile Radcliffe line. 

2. When a country is in turmoil it can give rise to fanatic leaders like Hitler in post World War I Germany. We don't want a Mullah in the possession of nuclear bomb sitting next door. It could be an unpredictable situation of "MANKADA HATHA RE SALA GRAMA" which literally means "Lord's statue in the hands of monkey", or giving a pivotal role to an ignoramus can backfire big time. We don't want that to happen.

The saga of my Paita

 I as a Brahmin is supposed to religiously wear my PAITA or what we call JANIYU in Hindi (the sacred thread worn by Brahmins) across on my shoulder. But it lies well tucked inside my luggage which I normally carry when I travel to my home back home in India. No sooner I reach home than I make it a point to take it out from my bag and wear the six stringed thread across my left shoulder extending to my waist. 

But last time when I took my PAITA out from my bag it looked old, crumbled. Its cotton strings in an haphazard shape looked like the flyovers in Atlanta downtown seen from top of an Airplane, like a maze of unknotted hair strewn all over criss crossing each other. Unknotting it was a nightmare. So I gave up. 

It didn't take very long for my parents to notice that something conspicuously missing on my shoulder - it was my PAITA. They were aghast and bit dissapointed about me forgetting my roots and rituals by stopping wearing the sacred thread, a Brahmin identity they hold close to heart. I explained to them there was no point in hanging on to my PAITA hanging from my shoulders, simply because it has already gone MAARA (lost its sanctity) a long time ago. 

When I visit the restaurant "Jersey and Mike" and order my Chicken Philly sandwich the Chef cooks my chicken barely six inches away where he sautes ground beef. He uses the spatula to alternate cooking between chicken and beef. Eating chicken from there is similar to eating potato from meat curry and saying I am vegetarian. So beef of the story is my PAITA has lost its purity long time ago. Also I reminded them of the Odia proverb - "CHINHA BRAHMANA RA PAITA DARKAR NAHI (A known Brahmin doesn't need to wear a sacred thread). Those who need to know are aware that I am a Brahmin and I don't need to advertise it. My parents weren't convinced with my logic and hardly impressed. 

Years ago a friend from India arrived at the JFK Airport, New York on a short business trip. Close to the Boston marathon bombing, security at the Airport was pretty tight. He was connecting to another city. At the security gate some one figured out that he was wearing a PAITA and uttered in a voice audible enough for the passengers crowded nearby to overhear - "Hey this guy is wearing a thread", yelled the security personnel", then  told my friend to take it out and pass it to him. A bunch of his colleagues clustered around it and gave a curious look to the PAITA and the DEURIA (Amulet) tied to it as if they were in possession of paraphernalia of someone from a distance galaxy. 

In certain movies we have seen when an alien object is thrown at a group of monkeys, they pass it on like a relay baton, giving perplexed looks at each other, not sure what to do. Our  security folks acted accordingly, passing the PAITA to one another, holding it high, rolling the amulet tied to the PAITA with their fingertips and giving puzzled looks at it from both ends. After done with their eye scan they let the PAITA get a separate X-ray scan, along with his belt, wallet etc.   

Finally they concluded that "this guy wearing a thread" not a security threat and let him in. I told my friend that the Security officer might have eaten a Roast Beef sandwich for lunch. Far from washing hands post lunch, the best possible scenario could be wiping hands with a piece of paper. He or she has touched your sacred PAITA using the same hand and inadvertently you have committed a sin. So as soon as you get back home, take a shower in GANGA JAL (water from River Ganga which reputedly washes off the sins committed) and shoulder a new PAITA. A la the Narsena Naidoo character of JATIRA DHAKKA (The jolt from Caste) in our Odia Literature textbook from middle school, you have lost your caste.  

Before being ostracized, "JA PURI JA. GOBAR PANI PEE, TEBE JAI JATI PHERI PAIBU" - Go to Puri (sacred temple city of Hindus). Drink Cow dung laced water, then only you can get your caste back. 

He laughed. Thankfully he shared my last name "Dash" not Sahrukh's - the later has gone through enhanced security scrutiny thrice, at least one of which is rumored to be a cavity search - finger inserted inside his lower orifice for additional search. Imagine Sah Rukh Khan coming out of security check stuttering - M..M...MUJHE MAAR DIYA RE (I have been screwed) a la "KI..KI..KIRAN" which propelled him into limelight. 

Another Odia friend, a brilliant guy, B.Tech. in Computer Science from IIT Kanpur and a devote Brahmin used to seat a few rows from me at my work. An elephant of knowledge, he always has a techno-logical way of explaining things.  

Inside the restroom (toilet) as a sacred Brahmin should do, he would religiously make a knot of his PAITA around his ears and never talk to the person standing next to him. If someone spoke to him, he would utter a muffled "Umm, Umm". The PAITA has to be wrapped around the left ear once for pee and twice for poo, each with its own set of logic to be reasoned with - he would explain to the ever curious inquisitor after hand washing. 

It aroused the curiosity of many. When queried he starts explaining to them the Vedic reason of doing so. The conversation invariably continued from washing hands, drying it and proceeding till the Restroom door until one opens the door for the other.

I would wash off my hands from such conversation. Whether the listeners grasped the explanations of my IITian friend is still a mystery. No doubt the saga of PAITA has  travelled far and wide.

Birthday 2023

Thanks everyone for your wonderful birthday wishes. Completely flabbergasted, floored and flattered by the number of wishes approaching 500 on Facebook and still counting. Also pleasantly overwhelmed by the overwhelming number of wishes on Whatsapp. To be honest, I enjoyed my rock star celebrity moment however short lived it may be. Thanks for those being so creative to create a story for me on Facebook on the occasion of my birthday. I can only write crap, can't be creative like you to create a story.

My finger almost ached while responding to all your wishes, yet I never got tired of it. In case I inadvertently failed to do so - once again a big THANK YOU to all of you for your lovely wishes. At peak in one particular time frame, Birthday wishes popped up every other minute on my timeline. No sooner I thanked one, than another Birthday wish was on pipeline. A "Like" option makes it a whole lot easier to respond. A like👍 on Facebook represents a lot of feelings - I really LIKE the wish, an acknowledgement that I read your wish or simply a thank you note - thanks to the smart and innovative Facebook Engineers who created the "like" button.

Per Western Astrology I have the same zodiac Sun sign Gemini as every one else who is born between May 21 and June 20. Geminians are considered to be good communicators and tend to be popular in social circles. At the same time Geminians are known to be fickle, restless and mercurial in nature. It is the sign of twins. They get well along with  their co-Geminians, Librans and Aquarians.

On a lighter note Geminians tend to be popular among opposite sex, the famous Geminian examples are John F Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie vindicate this fact. Not necessarily all Geminians are Casanova, but many I know having this star sign end up in love marriages (a term used in India for those marrying after falling in love or in self negotiated marriages).

Years ago when I joined Facebook as a tyro, a relatively late entrant to Mark Zuckerberg's wild Jurassic Park. Yet in wildest of my dreams I never thought of seeing this day. (A la Spielberg's Jurassic park, though aware of the monstrous Dinosours, everybody visits and revisits Facebook). I got to admit, ever since I have been on Facebook, I have been bitten by this Birthday bug and the numerous wishes always flatter me in epidemic proportion. 

Prior to the age of social media, wishes used to come only from a few close friends and family members via phone or Birthday cards. Now with Facebook reminder, floodgate of wishes has opened, inching towards 600 count as I write this blog and belated wishes pour in. After all, expectations makes us to expect more, damn my human nature.

One more birthday, one more year tagged to my life. Call it a mid life crisis or mid life blues, it is a stark reminder that body and mind, if not the spirit, goes downhill from here, tasks become uphill and years are numbered before I go over the hill. This birthday is just another day, a stark reminder and a reality check. Myriad wishes on phones, e-mails and social media has left me with a bloated sense of self glorification. In reality it barely changes anything, life just trudges ahead.

During my childhood, on our birthdays my mom would pray and cook KHEER (a sweet dish) for us. An additional luxury could be a special dish from her kitchen. Those days birthdays were tame affairs sans balloons, cake cuttings or any kind of fanfare. It's still the same for me.

We grew up in a collective society where our identity is more qualified by lineage, village, caste, community and so on (many South Indians and Punjabis have their village names tagged to their name. For example - for P. Ravi Kumar, P could be the first initial of the man's native village. For a Sikh named Jagjit Singh TALWANDI, the last part is the name of his PIND, or village). 

I or Me as an individual always came last after the society, village, city or district. Unlike the current generation, it was the norm for most parents of our time to have more than two kids. On top of that many lived in joint families who shared the same roof and celebrated thirteen festivals in twelve months. Birthdays of an individual rarely made into the priority list, always put in the back burner. 

But things in India are changing fast with rapid urbanization. The bonding built as a result of long term fusion of Nuclear families is fast dissipating by fission. DITK (Double Income Two Kids) is the new normal, prominently proclaimed by the rise in birthday celebrations as the harbinger of neo individualism. While I hardly celebrate my birthday, my son plans ahead for months to celebrate his. It is quite understandable. For him growing up in America where individualism rules the roost, his birthday is a matter of celebration. 

No wonder in US they make a big deal about Birthdays. Years back one fine morning no sooner I entered my work place, than I found it nicely decorated with balloons proclaiming "HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY". Half dozen teammates barged in, singing an impromptu Happy B'day song. A cake was cut. I had my few minutes of fame. They gave me a funny card signed with something like "Why Men Turn Naughty After Forty" printed on it. (Americans make a lot of fuss about celebrating occasions, liberally punching them with dosages of humor. We in India are fast catching up).

I forced myself a smile by fully exposing my phalanx of my 32 teeth and took a snap with them. Yet it was a stark reminder that being 40 in Chemistry lingo I have already reached the half life period, a la radioactive elements. In ancient India at this age people use to take VANAPRASTA (preparation towards retirement). In modern age life begins after middle age. Thanks again for your birthday wishes.

BJP's loss in 2014 Assembly elections in Karnataka

 Anupam Kher playing the role of Dr. Dang from the movie KARMA in late 1980s after receiving a tight slap from actor Dilip Kumar - "ISS THAPPAD KI GUNJ SUNI TUMNE" (Did you hear the reverberation from this slap) ? I am now reminded of it post the tight slap received by BJP after the party's comprehensive defeat in Karnataka Assembly elections. If I am allowed to extrapolate the signals coming from the voters of the state as they punched the voting machines, it's time for BJP, India's right wing Nationalist party to smell the coffee and wake up.

The electorate of this state in south India are one of the smartest lot. For last 35 years they have been making their government accountable, changing them as and when needed - so that no political party can take them for granted. As crop rotation is known for enhancing the productivity of the soil, changing things and positions brings spice out of life, similarly government rotations and changing power is needed for checks and balances we need in a democracy, as well as to curb the corruption and inefficiency.

The best example - In December 1984 Lok Sabha elections Congress won 24 out of 28 seats. Yet barely couple of months later in the state Assembly elections in March 1985, Karnataka voted decisively for R K Hegde, bringing Janata Party to power in the state. The other states who went to poll voted for Congress as usual replicating the just concluded Lok Sabha polls. However Karnataka decided otherwise going against the tide. They have done this time and again - vote one party for center, for another party in the state. 

Does it mean that it is beginning of the end of Modi magic ? Not so fast. Parliament elections at the center is one year away. A week is a long time in politics, a year is eons. Modi is still the undisputed leader at the center, his closest rival Rahul Gandhi isn't even close to him. The influence of other rival  leaders are at best territorial in nature. BJP has a presence at national level (except most of South of the Vindhyas) and being in power  has money & the powerful machinery at its disposal. It can certainly win at the center, though with a reduced margin due to the anti incumbency factor.

Also BJP's supporters can take solace in that it is just an isolated Assembly election. The result is a judgment on the performance of the local government rather than a verdict on Modi led government at the center. They are true to certain extent. As I mentioned above people often tend to vote differently in the local Assembly and national parliamentary elections. 

Examples galore. In late 2018 BJP lost in the Assembly elections in Madhya Pradesh, Chattishgarh and Rajasthan. But less than 6 months later it swept all these 3 states in the Lok Sabha elections giving the Modi led BJP a comprehensive victory. In the same election in Odisha where both Assembly and Parliament elections took place simultaneously the local party BJD swept the Assembly polls but BJP managed to win a respectable 9 number of Parliament seats from Odisha out of 21. The best example is Bhubaneswar - its Lok Sabha seat went to BJP while all the 7 Assembly segments under Bhubaneswar went to BJP. It was clear that the Odia voters did smart dual voting - voted for Naveen Patnaik for the state and Modi at the center on the same day on same ballot.

Hope BJP learns a lesson from this defeat and changes its game plans and strategy accordingly. They need to shed their arrogance and focus on governance. The loss of BJP in Karnataka was due to lack of governance and rampant corruption in the state under the BJP administration. The party didn't have a whole lot to write about. People are also getting tired of its divisive politics. But will BJP and Modi Bhakts ever learn a lesson ? Your guess is as good as mine.

India's finest hour - Pokhran Nuclear test

Stark reminder this day 25 years ago when I was single, unmarried and new to the United States. Driving alone on a cool, Spring morning from Upstate New York to Pittsburgh, I stopped to grab a Starbucks Expresso off the Interstate 81 when I saw the conspicuous headline in Tall and Bold alphabets on the front page of the  "USA TODAY" newspaper - INDIA TESTS NUCLEAR WEAPON.

The News caught me by surprise, as the night before I went to sleep I scanned newspaper headlines from India for news from back home on my desktop (it was an era sans Smart phones and tablets, mobile Internet was strictly fantasy). There was no inkling of any such activity on world media.

I immediately pulled 50 cents out of my pocket and pulled out the newspaper from a vending machine, going through it at a breathtaking speed. It was (and mostly even today), a rare mention about India on the front page of an American Newspaper.

India truly caught the whole world napping. Not only our pugnacious, obnoxious neighbors Pakistan and China had any clue, the United States, with all its technical prowess failed to see it coming. Even CIA, which then had more budget than India's GDP at that time came to know about it after the official announcement came from India. The American Press poked fun at CIA - mocking its acronym as standing for Cannot Identify Anything.

The Pokhran Nuclear test of 1998 was one of our major milestones in security. India, often seen as nincompoomp by outside world, proved that it can prove the proven powers wrong by flexing its muscles and taking them everyone by surprise.

As usual Pakistan went berserk with the news, but China whined a lot, being well aware that it is more directed towards it as a deterrent, because of its conventional superiority over India. It yet vindicated what George Fernandez, the then defence minister said about the middle kingdom - "China is our enemy number 1". It still stands true, more than Pakistan, China is going to be a long term threat to India, a perennial thorn to its flesh. US led  sanctions followed, which had minimal effects on India.

Nevertheless, on its 25th Anniversary Hats off to the Vajpayee's govt and the Scientists who were seen hats on, guiding and goofing the ever prying eyes of US satellites for the stupendous success and the day being forever etched in our memory for lifetime.