I as a Brahmin is supposed to religiously wear my PAITA or what we call JANIYU in Hindi (the sacred thread worn by Brahmins) across on my shoulder. But it lies well tucked inside my luggage which I normally carry when I travel to my home back home in India. No sooner I reach home than I make it a point to take it out from my bag and wear the six stringed thread across my left shoulder extending to my waist.
But last time when I took my PAITA out from my bag it looked old, crumbled. Its cotton strings in an haphazard shape looked like the flyovers in Atlanta downtown seen from top of an Airplane, like a maze of unknotted hair strewn all over criss crossing each other. Unknotting it was a nightmare. So I gave up.
It didn't take very long for my parents to notice that something conspicuously missing on my shoulder - it was my PAITA. They were aghast and bit dissapointed about me forgetting my roots and rituals by stopping wearing the sacred thread, a Brahmin identity they hold close to heart. I explained to them there was no point in hanging on to my PAITA hanging from my shoulders, simply because it has already gone MAARA (lost its sanctity) a long time ago.
When I visit the restaurant "Jersey and Mike" and order my Chicken Philly sandwich the Chef cooks my chicken barely six inches away where he sautes ground beef. He uses the spatula to alternate cooking between chicken and beef. Eating chicken from there is similar to eating potato from meat curry and saying I am vegetarian. So beef of the story is my PAITA has lost its purity long time ago. Also I reminded them of the Odia proverb - "CHINHA BRAHMANA RA PAITA DARKAR NAHI (A known Brahmin doesn't need to wear a sacred thread). Those who need to know are aware that I am a Brahmin and I don't need to advertise it. My parents weren't convinced with my logic and hardly impressed.
Years ago a friend from India arrived at the JFK Airport, New York on a short business trip. Close to the Boston marathon bombing, security at the Airport was pretty tight. He was connecting to another city. At the security gate some one figured out that he was wearing a PAITA and uttered in a voice audible enough for the passengers crowded nearby to overhear - "Hey this guy is wearing a thread", yelled the security personnel", then told my friend to take it out and pass it to him. A bunch of his colleagues clustered around it and gave a curious look to the PAITA and the DEURIA (Amulet) tied to it as if they were in possession of paraphernalia of someone from a distance galaxy.
In certain movies we have seen when an alien object is thrown at a group of monkeys, they pass it on like a relay baton, giving perplexed looks at each other, not sure what to do. Our security folks acted accordingly, passing the PAITA to one another, holding it high, rolling the amulet tied to the PAITA with their fingertips and giving puzzled looks at it from both ends. After done with their eye scan they let the PAITA get a separate X-ray scan, along with his belt, wallet etc.
Finally they concluded that "this guy wearing a thread" not a security threat and let him in. I told my friend that the Security officer might have eaten a Roast Beef sandwich for lunch. Far from washing hands post lunch, the best possible scenario could be wiping hands with a piece of paper. He or she has touched your sacred PAITA using the same hand and inadvertently you have committed a sin. So as soon as you get back home, take a shower in GANGA JAL (water from River Ganga which reputedly washes off the sins committed) and shoulder a new PAITA. A la the Narsena Naidoo character of JATIRA DHAKKA (The jolt from Caste) in our Odia Literature textbook from middle school, you have lost your caste.
Before being ostracized, "JA PURI JA. GOBAR PANI PEE, TEBE JAI JATI PHERI PAIBU" - Go to Puri (sacred temple city of Hindus). Drink Cow dung laced water, then only you can get your caste back.
He laughed. Thankfully he shared my last name "Dash" not Sahrukh's - the later has gone through enhanced security scrutiny thrice, at least one of which is rumored to be a cavity search - finger inserted inside his lower orifice for additional search. Imagine Sah Rukh Khan coming out of security check stuttering - M..M...MUJHE MAAR DIYA RE (I have been screwed) a la "KI..KI..KIRAN" which propelled him into limelight.
Another Odia friend, a brilliant guy, B.Tech. in Computer Science from IIT Kanpur and a devote Brahmin used to seat a few rows from me at my work. An elephant of knowledge, he always has a techno-logical way of explaining things.
Inside the restroom (toilet) as a sacred Brahmin should do, he would religiously make a knot of his PAITA around his ears and never talk to the person standing next to him. If someone spoke to him, he would utter a muffled "Umm, Umm". The PAITA has to be wrapped around the left ear once for pee and twice for poo, each with its own set of logic to be reasoned with - he would explain to the ever curious inquisitor after hand washing.
It aroused the curiosity of many. When queried he starts explaining to them the Vedic reason of doing so. The conversation invariably continued from washing hands, drying it and proceeding till the Restroom door until one opens the door for the other.
I would wash off my hands from such conversation. Whether the listeners grasped the explanations of my IITian friend is still a mystery. No doubt the saga of PAITA has travelled far and wide.
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