On the very next day of my arrival in Bhubaneswar the weather suddenly turned cooler and more salubrious after bouts of summer thunderstorms locally known as "Kalabaisakhi". It suddenly felt like Bhubaneswar from my childhood days. Thanks to the weather and unseasonal rains my job as the "Karta" (one who is doing the rituals) became less punishing. The day after my mom's rituals were over, it started getting hotter after a 10 day breather. Last couple of days have been quite hot.
This morning I went over to the balcony to take a peek at the outside world and enjoy a cool breeze blowing the dust around, looking nostalgically at the "Tagara", "Mandara" (hibiscus) and other trees planted by my mother who had a green thumb. You must have heard about Sand mafia, Land mafia etc. Have you heard of Flower mafia ? They come at wee hours of the morning, steal flowers from the frontyard gardens in our locality and sell them off to the larger market segment. The senior citizen living in our lane can hardly do anything to stop them.I saw a man leaning over our fence, then pulling down a branch surreptitiously to steal the low hanging flowers. I shouted at him from top at top of my voice - "Aren't you ashamed of stealing our flowers ? Don't you have the minimum courtesy of asking us before you pluck them ?" Rather than see them fade and fall off, I don't mind sharing our flowers for non-commercial purpose, but don't want them to be blatantly stolen without due permission. The man pulled away and moved on to the next house without any remorse, exposing his black betel stained teeth like the snarl of a rabid mongrel.
During my short stay in this trip I made sure to meet several senior citizens I know, like and care about. Regardless of our wish, we aren't sure if they would be present when we visit next time . This is the harsh reality of life I learnt the hard way, as when I was here last January that was the last time I saw my mom alive. Now she isn't there anymore. Also a stark warning to my friends who live abroad - if you got elderly parents and relatives in India, you need to be always on alert with a contingency plan in place for any eventuality. For you never know, as tragedy choses to strike at the most inopportune moment.
I was impressed by my experience in Swargadwar, Puri, the most preferred cremation ground for Odias. The process is very structured and streamlined with least hassles to face. You need the following to proceed with cremation:
1. Present your Adhar card if you are the one doing "Kriya Karma".
2. Present the Adhar card of the deceased.
3. Medical report if any from the hospital to certify the death.
You can also book the services through www.swargadwara.com, a start up website created by my entrepreneur friend Plaban Mohapatra.
I booked the Khatta Mitha Convention Center on Tanka Pani Road near Ravi Talkies for my mother's "Shradhanjali" on the 12th day of Shraddha. It is location friendly and professionally run providing excellent food and facilities at a very reasonable price.
But don't expect similar professionalism from the Tent Houses and never completely rely on them. Trust but Verify should be the motto. Keep tab of their work and ensure that they do their job right without leaving you in dire straight at 11th hour. As far as the rituals go, there is no standardized, documented set of rules and process to be followed for the "Sudha Kriya" (death ritual). If you aren't too conservative, want least hassle, the option of "Arya Samaj" is always there. It eliminates the lengthy set of procedures which is part of the normal "Kriya Karma" rituals where you are prone to the whims and fancies of the Purohit (Priest). Fortunately, my Purohit and Barber were pretty understanding, cooperative and very punctual. I religiously followed priest's instructions, conveniently ignoring all sorts of unsolicited advices and suggestions thrown at me dime a dozen.
Many of us who have been living abroad for more than quarter of a century, are far from being familiar with the nuances of milieu. So it is advisable to go through a local contact, lest you are taken for a ride. Unless it is absolutely necessary, never disclose that you are a NRO (Non Resident Odia). Many harbor this view that NRIs, especially those from USA plant money producing trees in their backyard. Every morning they harvest sacks fulls of dollars. Then they lie on pillows full of $100 notes (bills) with pretty girls hanging sweet grapes on their mouth. This is far from truth as reality could be different.
I go back to USA with tons of memories and loads of emptiness in my heart. Everything in and around this house - from the whirring sound of the wall mounted AC to the smell of mangoes, from the musical sound of breeze passing through the flora around our house to the house kitties looking for her carries her legacy.
For the first time in my life my mother won't be there to hug and see me off. It so happened it was I who came down here to bid her adieu. Let me yet again repeat this stanza from the famous Mukesh song in movie "MERA NAAM JOKER",
"CHAHE KAHI BHI TUM RAHO,
CHAHENGE TUM KO UMR BHAR
TUM KO NA BHOOL PAENGE"..
Roughly transliterated...
"Wherever you are going to live,
I will long for you all my life,
Shall Never be able to forget you"....
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