Our Puri Panda

 If hearsay from Odisha is to be believed the reported harassment by PANDAs (priests) in Sri Jagannath temple of Puri has gone down a lot due to the government stepping in to streamline the temple administration. Things are now far better organized. The surrounding of temple has been cleaned. The devotees as well as Pandas are expected to fall in line, otherwise the authorities will take stringent action against them. Modeled after the Tirupati temple in South India this action by the folks at the helm of affairs came late. Nevertheless better late than never.

Otherwise, harassment by Pandas used to be the norm not long ago, going on for a long period of time. The legendary Odia writer Pratibha Ray was once abused by the Pandas years back. I am sure, many were unfortunate to bear this ordeal while the inept and corrupt temple administration looked in other direction, rarely did anything worthwhile to curb this menace.

The famous BADA DANDA (Broadway) leading to Lord Jagannath temple used to be liberally strewn with bulls and beggars. (I have nothing against beggars who are needy, but many I saw begging in Puri were healthy enough to work, taking the devotees for a ride). It's sad that most of our sacred places of worship are abodes of charlatans and pickpockets. Chain snatching and sexual molestations are rampant, especially during the special occasions like annual Ratha Jatra. As population and devotees expand exponentially, the administration has its challenges to cope up with it.

A typical Puri Panda is pot bellied, mainly due to his intake of a carbohybrate rich diet primarily based on a heavy dosage of rice and CHUDA (parched rice) topped with a liberal dosage of GHEE (clarified butter), along with his evening BHANG (a paste of Cannabis locally popular) taken with KHEERA (sweetened condensed milk). He is a champion of delivering profanity with a high pitched voice, backed by a glib tongue and ready wit of concocting Odia idioms. 

Our Panda always boasts about the quantity of rice he gobbles up - "BHATA EMITI BADHA HEI THIBA JE BIRADI DEILE TA GODA BAJIBA" - the quantity of rice on your plate should be large and challenging enough for a cat to jump over it without its legs hitting the top of the rice mountain. No wonder you find so many pot bellied men surrounding Puri.

Very territorial, our Puri Panda's world hardly ventures beyond ATHARANALA (the outskirt of Puri which marks the begin or end of the city, depending on the way you are coming from). He is rumored to often travel miles to find a suitable SUJI MARKA BALI ( a bed of sand as fine as flour) to relieve himself and looking back at his mound of shit just delivered to take pride upon the size of his dump. The larger the size of the dump, more is his satisfaction.

My first memory of Pandas of Puri goes back to the late 1970s. While inside the temple which was barely crowded those days, I fondly remember a PANDA delivering a couplet poking fun at a local politician named "Harihar Bahinipati" -

"AMA HARIHARA BAHINIPATI;
CHHELI KI DEKHILE MUTI PAKANTI"

"Our Harihar Bahinipati;
Upon sighting a goat comes out his pee".

I have been lucky never to be harassed by Pandas, always preferring to maintain a safe distance from them. Eventually I ran out of luck. Few years back a PANDA mistook me as a Bengali (Tourists form Bengal form the bulk of the visitors to the temple town. I am sure if they decide to boycott Puri for a month its economy will collapse like a pack of cards). He started chasing me - DADA ESON ESON (Bro, come with me). I switched to Puri accent, "HAIYE AME PIRA BALI SAHI LOKA" (faking the Puri accent as I am a bit familiar with it, pretending as a local lad). 

The Panda, still not giving up - "HAU, MAHAPURU 10 TA TANKA DIA", "OK, master. Pay me 10 rupee in the name of God". I replied back, "Bhaina (my elder bro), I don't have a single penny in my pocket". As I moved on, I heard our frustrated Panda bad mouthing behind me -"KANGALA KAHASE AYAA" or "where from this impoverished bankrupt guy has come" ! (We Odias switch to Hindi when we get excited). It was quite a funny experience for me.