Dadagiri - A matter of perception

 DADAGIRI (Bullying) is more a perception than reality. I learnt it the hard way during my teenage days than ever before.

Ragging was at its peak when I entered into REC (now NIT) Rourkela in 1986 as an undergraduate Engineering student. I was well ragged and slapped multiple times (once slapped by a senior guy until my nose bled, I just stopped short of reporting him to the authority). My independent stay in hostel and enduring the perpetual ragging in a tough milieu made me tougher, contributing towards me perceiving myself as a cool guy.

I came home for the Durga Puja holidays in the month of October. A few guys near my locality were regularly harassing my sister by passing innuendos (comments in local lingo) whenever she ventured outside from home. Sick and tired of those road Romeos, she simply chose to avoid them. 

Once she overheard one of the eve teasers talking - "Her brother can do no harm to us as he is a good for nothing PENA (nincompoop) - not a smart guy." In Webster's dictionary smart means "clever, witty, brainy" etc. But in local Bhubaneswar parlance a guy on a bike wearing shiny shoes and chasing girls is considered a smart guy. I riding a bicycle without a girlfriend at that time didn't fit to their definition of smartness. The name "Smart city" tag given to the capital city of Odisha speaks for itself.

No wonder I was promptly dismissed as a nerdy kind of a guy who is just a harmless bookworm. Their taunt as retold by my sister got into my nerves. The ragging fatigued guy in me was dying to display some macho. Though not a very brave man, I was itching to confront those vagabonds and prove them wrong. It was time for some action. And fighting for the honor of my sister was the right thing to do, not to mention the perfect opportunity to display some bravado in an otherwise lackluster life.

The following afternoon I decided to escort my sister during her walk to her friend's house with a small knife tucked inside my pocket unknown to her. After we were half way through our journey,  three guys riding a pillion approached us. The guy in the middle turned his head towards us, put couple of his fingers behind his lips and whistled at my sister.

Then followed taunts of "Hi Hi". I raised my middle finger towards them as a sign of friendly reciprocity. Not sure if they understood my gesture, but they parked the bike and apprached me twitching their shirt collars uttering in Oriya "HAIRE DADAGIRI MARUCHU' meaning "Are you bossing around ?

Not long ago I had seen the movie NAAM and tried to replicate Sanjay Dutt,  as it was not uncommon those days for the youth to emulate the Bollywood actors. (Many tend to carry the angry young man trait of Amitabh Bachchan, the Superstar of our time as a hangover lasting for few hours after coming out of the movie theater). I took out the small knife from my pocket and threatened them in no uncertain terms whoever hits me first I will push the sharp top of the knife into his bottom. 

My sister expected me to confront them but was dumbfounded by seeing me pulling out a knife, giving me a look with dilated pupils. I could feel my heart pounding fast. My mouth was hot as heater but bottom was cold as a freezer. But the born grit and stubbornness in me didn't waver a bit. Saving my sister's honor was enough motivation for me to confront them, though she was the only person other than me who was aware of the fact that the pocket knife which I was holding was so sharp that I forever struggled to cut an apple using it. But I was the only one other than her who was aware of this secret. They never expected this from a so called PENA, DHAIN - a nincompoop. It caught them off guard. They apparently panicked and walked away. More that the object, it was the image or perception which mattered.

A few days later I went back to Rourkela as the institute opened post holidays. My sister wrote me a letter (only mode of communication then in the world sans email, phone) mentioning that those guys never bothered her again. 

The little junk knife I used to scare the perpetrator Majnus wouldn't have hurt a fly, yet the perception the aggressive guy in me holding it worked and worked to  perfection. 90% of things we assume in life never happen. Lot of things or threats aren't as serious or menacing as they seem, as most stereotypes have been proven to be wrong.