The other day while discussing about the recent Pulwama attack, an outraged friend of mine uttered - "PAKISTANI KU MARI DABA (Let's kill the Pakistanis)". My instant response - "AME KANA MARIBA ! PAKISTAN AMA KU MARI MARI POLA KARI SARILANI." (What kill we can do ? Pakistan has screwed our bottom enough, widening our orifices beyond repair and redemption). Everybody around laughed. My friend just chuckled with a mix of appreciation of my earthly sense of humor conveyed in a rustic Odia way, though I could sense he didn't like me throwing cold water on his bellicosity. (I should learn how to tell the truth, but tell it slant).
The writer Khushwant Singh was once visiting Hong Kong, close to the heels of the humiliating defeat suffered by India at the hands of the Chinese on the aftermath of their surprise attack on our Eastern front in October, 1962.
As the eminent writer on a journalist assignment was walking on the street, a Sardar called him from behind shouting "SARDARJEE (As Sikhs are addressed in reverence). DESH SE AYE HO (have you come from our country ) ? TUMNE TO NAAK BHADDA DITTA (you cut our nose - meaning you have shamed us)".
He continued - "CHINIYAAN NE TO TUMHARI BH**ND MAARLI (the Chinese have screwed your bottom). KUKKAD KHAANDE JOGE HO (You are now only good at eating chicken - poking at the penchant of the Punjabis towards eating chicken. The pun was, you are good for nothing, chicken eating folks, who have forgotten how to fight).
The Sardar of Hong Kong went on further - "I used to boast before my Chinese wife about the great martial tradition of Sikhs. Now she is poking fun at me". Point taken, the Chinese beat us left and right in that war, catching us unware, following the age old military adage, "surprise is the main element of war".
History repeats itself. Fast forward to the year 2019. No surprise here, as Pakistan origin surprising attack again took toll on our soldiers in Kashmir. The Chinese attacked us just once. Pakistan has been doing it effectively since 1993 terror attack in Bombay.
The witty Sardar if alive today would've come up with something naughty in Punjabi to describe the fact that Pakistan has been screwing us relentlessly for the last 25 years. Our response so far has been multiple orgasms of JAI HINDs uttered on social media while they have the last laugh while zipping their pants, totally exhausted after screwing US until they get into the mood once again.
So far we have seen tons of verbally boisterous knee jerk reactions without anything tangible on the action front. Social media warriors have upped their ante, picking gauntlets to punish Pakistan by forfeiting the match against them in the upcoming Cricket World Cup. While our batting legends Sachin Tendulkar and Sunil Gavaskar are opposing such a silly move, those who have never held a cricket bat in their life, let alone played the game have become the chief protagonists of boycotting.
Reminds me of the legendary boxer Muhammad Ali who taking on punches from his opponents used to frequently taunt them - "Oh, man. That all you got". His irritated opponent lands him another one, some hit, some miss Ali to which he responds - "That was a sissy. That's all you got ?, Hey, that's girly. That's all you got ? ", until he tires his opponent out and lands his punchline punch.
So far, if Ali is to Pakistan, his opponent has been India. This may continue for a while until the day India is able to get the upper hand and announce a la Leon Spinks after defeating Ali - "I am the latest". Till then let's be - KUKKAD KHANDE JOGE HO (Good for nothing, good at eating Chicken). That's the best we can do.
Very apt. So well said ��
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