The potato war

Amid skyrocketing prices of potatoes in Odisha, my home state back home in India, the Mamata Banerjee government in Bengal, a high producing state of the vegetable has regulated its supply to other states to control prices in the local market. Meantime in Odisha, leader of Opposition Naveen Patnaik who has good terms with West Bengal Chief Minister, wrote her a letter seeking her intervention to ensure a smooth supply of potatoes to the state from Bengal as it has stopped supply of the tubers to other states.

I have many Bengalis as friends - both inside and outside Odisha. The states of Odisha and Bengal bordering each other among the eastern coromondel coast of Bay of Bengal have a lot of similarities - from the dress they wear, the language they speak, they share common food habits, festivals, culture and traditions. Many call each other's state their home. There is hardly any Odia who has never been to Calcutta, nor any Bengali who has never visited Puri, a favorite holiday destination of Bengalis from all classes. Each year Millions of Bengalis throng the temple town of Puri, enjoying its pretty, pristine sandy sea beach. You can say Bengali is the 2nd language of Puri as the locals speak it in typical Odia accent to communicate with the Bengali tourists. Shops and restaurants all over the town have signs and hoardings written in Bengali. If for some reason Bengalis decide to stop coming to Puri, rest assured the township's economy will collapse like pack of a card within a month.

Odias and Bengalis look very similar. Few years back a PANDA (Priest) in Puri mistook me for Bengali and started chasing me - "OH DADA, ESON ESON (Bro, come with me). I immediately switched to Puri accent, "HAIYE MALIKE, AME PIRA BALI SAHI LOKA" (Boss, I am from the local Bali Sahi, adjacent to the temple) faking the Puri accent, for being originally from that area. The Panda got confused and disappointed for dealing with a local chap, not a vulnerable tourist to be ripped off. Still not giving up he made a last attempt - "HAU, MAHAPURU 10 TA TANKA DIA", "OK, master. Pay me 10 rupee in the name of God". I replied back, "Bhaina (my elder bro). I don't have a single penny in my pocket". As I moved on, I heard our frustrated Panda bad mouthing behind me -"KANGALA KAHASE AYA", "where from this impoverished bankrupt guy has come" ! (We Odias switch to Hindi when we get excited). It was quite a funny experience for me.

Now coming back to potato, in Odia and Bengali we have a term called ALUDOSH (the potato flaw). Pronounced in different accents in Odia and Bengali, they mean the same connotation in both languages. Overall it denotes Idiosyncrasies or unusually irritating attitude, usually lascivious behavior by men towards women, though not just limited to it. That is exactly seems to be happening between the both neighboring states. The Potato politics due to the ALUDOSH from both sides have stung the consumers for whom the vegetable is a staple side item to their primarily rice based diet.

Price of potato has reportedly shot into Rs.50 per kilo. It is making the Odias mad, threatening Bengal for not releasing enough of the tuber to its neighboring states. Bengalis aren't too happy about it. There is an age old saying in Africa "When two elephants make love or war it is the grass which suffers". It is always the hapless consumers who bear the brunt. The brewing potato fight between these neighboring states can be stopped by making them agree to rather brew some potato based Vodka. That can sooth their nerves by sitting together and having a friendly chat imbibing that fiery drinks together.

One solution to this ALUDOSH. Pappu (Naveen) and Didi (Mamata), the most eligible bachelors from the states should tie the marrital knot. In the era of RAJA (kings) and MAHARAJAs (emperors) marital alliances between heads of states often solved age old rivalries. Not much difference these days. Pappu, aka, Naveen is the scion of Biju Dynasty. Mamata is unquestionably the Princes of Bengal. Though with declining health and recently out of job, Naveen has started showing promises of rejenuvated youth. We Odias can take few shots of potato Vodka and dance our way in the "BARAJATRI" (Baraati or groom's procesion) to our neighboring state of Bengal and have fun feasting on our favorite rice and fish meals, enjoying our contested "Rasagola" until this potato mess is resolved.