An Ode to Khushwant Singh on his Birthday

 If Khushwant Singh was alive today he would be 107 year old. After a long, prosperous, eventful life he died at the age of 99. The man wrote his Novels and Columns until he was 96 - amazing fit at an age it is a challenge to keep sanity when one can't even think straight. When a young lady journalist asked him how long he will keep writing the ebullient Sardar replied - "No one has yet invented a condom for my pen". 

A brilliant writer, he tried his hands in multiple things - practised Law, worked at Indian High Commissioner Office in London, was a journalist who edited several Newspapers and Magazines, especially the famed Illustrated Weekly of India whose circulation jumped from a paltry 40,000 to a smashing half million in a few years under his leadership.

He always had a penchant to court controversies and cherished them as it helped him sell his books. When he worked in the Indian Embassy in London just after independence, the Sardar had a torrid time with his boss Krishna Menon, whom he described as a Double faced hypocrite and perennial boot licker. His best compliment to his ex boss was - "K. Menon was a bachelor, so also his father".

But not all his remarks were unpalatable, rather filled with wit and sense of humor. He had a home in the Hill Station town of Kasauli. When he was a member of the Rajya Sabha, his colleague the actress Nargis Dutt asked him if he can spare his vacation home to her for a few days. Khushwant Singh replied - "I will, but under one condition. You must say that I slept on Khushwant Singh's bed". Nargis burst into laughter, and as per him her laughter was one of the sweetest sights he had seen in his long life.

Khushwant Singh was known as a straight shooter who left no stone unturned doing character assassination of hypocrites, charlatans and sundry religious zealots. He had a lot of Muslim friends, his best friend was Manzoor Qadir from his lawyer days in Lahore. Per K. Singh just prior to independence the atmosphere in Lahore had turned vicious beyond redemption. A Muslim judge would give his verdict in favor of Muslim and a Hindu-Sikh judge otherwise. The polarization was complete. The fact that a Khushwant Singh had a close Muslim friend was talk of the town.

The call for Pakistan was at its height, so also Jinnah's popularity in the Western part of Punjab. The street in front of his house will have long procession of huge Muslim crowds chanting -

HAMNE LIYA Pakistan,

LADKE LENGE Hindustan.

"We got our Pakistan,

 Will fight and take Hindustan".

There was a strong belief amongst Muslims that one Muslim is equivalent to 10 Hindu-Sikhs. Though fallacious, many Muslims bought this theory. As situation was turning from bad to worse, Khushwant Singh decided to send his family & servant to Delhi and stayed back in Lahore to take care of some unfinished works before joining them.

One evening he was at his home, tired after returning from his trip to Rawalpindi to meet with a client. His friend Manzoor Qadir sudenly barged in, his body still shaking and voice trembling. In one breath he narrated the incident he saw earlier that day. He came back on a train from Rawalpindi which was stopped on the outskirts of Lahore. The Hindus on the train were dragged out, made naked to check their genitals (circumcision was the best way to distinguish between a Hindu and Muslims when they looked alike and spoke the same language) and swiftly butchered. No such check was necessary for Sikhs as their turbans and beards gave them away. All these killings happened right in front of Manzoor Qadir's yes.

Khushwant Singh was destined to live another day as luckily for him he was on an earlier train. He now decided not to delay anymore and drive his Jeep to Amritsar which he knew was safe. So he hugged his friend whose legs were still wobbly from the slaughter he saw earlier that day. Manzoor Qadir accepted the house key from K. Singh, promised to keep it safe until the situation improved. It would never happen and so also the promise by Jinnah that Hindus and Sikhs in Pakistan will continue to live as usual. In fact Jinnah had offered K. Singh the position of Chief Justice in Lahore High Court. But destiny had its way.

The road to Amritsar was clear as Khushwant  Singh drove forward. Close to the city of Golden Temple he saw a vehicle coming from the opposite direction which stopped at a distance. K. Singh slowed down, took out his revolver and waited with his chest pounding. He felt relieved to see a few Sikh men jumping out of their vehicle and greeting him with SAT SRI AKAAL. He asked them - "How is the road to Amritsar" ? They replied in unison, "Don't worry. It is absolutely safe. We have cleaned the route off the circumcised children of pigs (alluding to Muslims). He felt instant churning in his stomach.

Khushwant  Singh kept his contacts in Pakistan intact where he visited often to meet his friends from childhood and Lahore days. Known to be friendly towards Pakistan, once he was invited by the Pakistani Consulate in Bombay where Premium Scotch and Kebabs was served. When the Sardar enquired the reason for the celebration, he was told that the party was to commemorate Pakistan's victory over India in 1965 War.

Khushwant Singh said, "May Allah grant you more and more such imaginary victories and may I be invited to such parties where Premium Scotch along with succulent Kebab is served."

The Sardar never failed to laugh at himself, his family and his community by compiling several books on Sardajee jokes. His father was a rich contractor, regarded as the man who built half of New Delhi. He owned multiple cars, a luxury then and wanted some CHANGAA (eye catching) numbers for his car. The naughty Vehicle Registration Office guys gave him a number - "SRI 420". The poor father couldn't understand why people were laughing until he discovered the cause - a SARDAR (Sikh) driving a car with SRI 420 inscribed on number plate.

There are lot of stuff on Khushwant Singh which is beyond the scope of this blog. But the Sardar has carved his niche in the world - from writing some serious stuff (his book "History of Sikhs" is a authentic reference to the history of the community) to his comic columns and raconteurs. Happy birthday to the legend.