Advanced degree holders for home guard

Recently a news from my home state back home Odisha came to my attention. Around 8000 candidates with various advanced degrees rounded up to compete for 187 police home guard positions in Sambalpur !

The news didn't surprise me at all. These days  many advanced degrees hardly mean anything. Also the position of a Home Guard in police not only guarantees a stable job until one turns 60, it comes with the scope of some additional incomes.

I knew a guy in Bhubaneswar who barely graduated, but to the envy many landed up a job as Home Guard, Police thanks to his maternal Uncle, a Senior IPS Officer who retired as DG. His friends and neighbors would give him a vicarious, jealousy filled look as he would jump into the back of a police jeep which would pick him up from the street in front of his house. Our home guard friend would be back home at evening with a satisfying grin on his face.

Once he narrated me that while doing his rounds around the famous Saivite Lingaraj temple, he saw a Cobra coiled nearby raising its hood at him. Shouting "ASHTIKA ASHTIKA, GARUDA GARUDA", a chant supposed to save one from the wrath of snakes, he fled from the scene. I asked him jokingly - "If you are afraid of snakes, what will you do if someone attacks the temple". He calmly replied - "BHAINA (Bro), I will flee like I did".

When I asked him about the extra income part, he replied - "As team players we divide our "Upuri", the manna dew from from heaven in form of cash among ourselves. Though not a whole lot, it takes care of my "CHA, PANI" (tea and water) part. Now I can afford cigarettes in place of Bidi. But I manage to extort some free stuff from local street food vendors". He especially enjoyed the much cherished Odia snack of "BARA & GHUGUNI" combo which though tasty, produces tons of gas. Corruption and policing go hand in glove.

Not long ago, I saw the news of a Police official in Odisha amassing a fortune disproportionate to his known source of income. A classic case of when the fence starts eating the crop, or the RAKHYAK (the keeper) turns into a the BHAKHYAK (eater).
Reminds me of this stanza from the Kishore Kumar's song "Chingaree Koi Bhadke'

MAZDHAR ME NAYA DOLE TO MAAJHI PAAR LAGAE;
MAAJHI JO NAO DUBOYE USE KAUN BACHAYE"..

Transliterated,

"If the boat capsizes in mid river, 
the boatman rescues all;
If the boatman himself capsizes,
who saves him after all ?".

This is not the first instance of Police personnels going rogue, indulging in corruption and other forms of crime and certainly on the last one. Bollywood movies bear a testimony of that. No wonder, except perhaps the sub-Saharan Africa no where the police is as corrupt as in India. Hence the job of police, in the form of home guard or other is one of the most sough after.  

In this context a scene from the Bollywood movie "BHAG MILKHA BHAAG" rings a bell. A policeman stops the legendary runner Milkha Singh while the later is carrying couple of cans of GHEE (Clarified butter) and wanted him to part them. Milkha did not succumb to the policeman's extortion. He did some push ups and finished both the bottles of Ghee to the amusement of a cheering crowd.

No sooner we gained our independence from the British than the ugly head of Corruption started raising its head. First it was  sporadic in nature, far from the epidemic proportion we encounter now. It hadn't yet spread its tentacles to all the segments of the society with one exception - the Police. 

This is vindicated by related episodes narrated to me by my grandfather and father. Call it the legacy of the Raj or whatever, the police were probably the first to jump into the bandwagon of corruption. One of my father's close friends, a principled man who was in the police force in the 1960s shifted to teaching profession as he could not digest the fact his fellow custodians of law were taking law into their hands. My dad says one of his childhood memories is Khaki Knickers and cone shaped topee (hats) clad Constables of Police extorting coconuts, fine quality rice, chickens, ghee from the hapless villagers.

Constable is considered as the lowest rank of Police back home. Not sure if the same goes with their counterparts in England. On the aftermath of crimes in UK, often a Constable talks to the media. In India rarely that privilege goes to anybody below the rank of an IPS (Indian Police Service) officer which was incidentally called Imperial Police Service before for a long time. In Odisha, the Constable is locally addressed as a KANESTBALA, often in a derogatory sense. He is always close to the commoners and being ridiculed for his disproportionate figure of thin arms and limbs with protruding belly. With his physique, forget about catching a thief, he can't even catch a mouse. 

Police is a hated and often ridiculed figure in India. A gentleman who once retired as DSP (Deputy Superintendent of Police) got into a squabble with a peon (a person at the lowest hierarchy in a job) in front of our house. The DSP  boasting of himself said "You know who am I ? I am a retired DSP ?" The Peon retorted back with his ready wit - "You might have retired as a DSP,  but you must have started your career as a KANESTBALA (constable)". So the Peon had the last laugh at the expense of our retired DSP.

Though butt of jokes, the Constable is envied for his job, which can bring UPURI (extra income) while he can still rub clarified butter on his moustache (NISA RE GHIA MARI) and work uninterrupted until he reaches the age of 60. No wonder there goes this popular saying in Odisha

MACHHA KHAIBA ILISI
CHAKIRI KARIBA POLICI"

"Hilsa is the fish you should cherish;
The job you should do is Police".

Good luck and best wishes to the applicants for the home guard positions. Once through, time to celebrate with some Pakhala and Ilisi Machha Bhaja.