Never borrow, never lend

 These days I am getting a lot of unsolicited solicitation for money. It is very flattering for someone who is far from being rich. However I enjoy my two cents and two minutes of attention. People think I have a Dollar tree in my backyard and harvest $100 bills like I harvest veggies every summer. In reality I am rather a frequent visitor of Dollar tree store in my neighborhood.

There are occasional posts on Facebook about people borrowing money and never returning. Not quite an uncommon phenomenon, something most of us at some point or other in our life have gone through this agony and ignominy of lending money only never to see it returned. In Odisha it is called HATHA UDHARI (hand loans), i.e., money normally passed from hand to hand at 0% APR interest purely based on faith. Invariably no kind of paperwork is involved. But as usual promises are made to be broken - especially in matters of heart and money.

There was this guy who came to my place in 1992 asking for Rs.5000 for his sister's wedding. He literally cried in front of me. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder he said " MO BHAITA PARA (you are my dear brother). You have sisters too, so you can understand my pain and plight. I will return the money in 2-3 weeks." We are champions at expressing fraternal love at the time of need, which  rarely stays the same after the deed. His gesture melted my heart like butter on a hot plate, as I get emotional especially when it comes to sisters as I love them to the innermost core of my heart. Without hesitating further I grabbed whatever I had and settled for Rs. 3000. It was a substantial amount for me then which was pretty much equivalent of my monthly salary.

More than three weeks passed. Months and a year rolled by. The promise of returning back my money was never kept. The money was never returned. One day I decided to storm by his place and demanded if he can return at least a part of his hand loan procured through his expression of filial love in a sibling related matter. I could instantly sense that his overflowing brotherly love during our last meeting has considerably dried up, like river MAHANADI bed during the peak summer.

Needless to say I returned empty handed with one more promise to return it in few days and the solace of recovering Rs. 7, Rs 2 for the price of two ALUCHAPs (Potato cutlets, a popular snack in Odisha) washed down with a bottle Limca priced at Rs. 5, fully paid by my debt owning friend. Rest Rs.2993 assured washed down the drain. I returned back gasping like the Cheetah on National Geographic Channel after a failed attempt to catch its pray.  

Here in US, I haven't heard of any story of hand loans gone bust, but some use hand guns to procure them. In that case there is hardly any expectations for getting it back. A la back home, when money is lent purely based on trust and emotions, there is hardly any barometer to measure it. The lure of easy cash can easily turn a person of trust to BHRAST (spoilsport), ruining the goodwill and eventually relationship. I wish I had listened to my father who said and these are the lines I repeat to those who ask me for money -

"If you want to keep a friend,
 Never borrow, never lend."