The winter months remind me of a popular brand of Coconut Oil available during our childhood days named KMP. The shape of the green or yellow colored cylindrical tin is still fresh in my memory. One needs to make couple of punctures on its surface using nail and hammer, then tilt it a bit to let the oil flow out.
In the cold season, a few minutes under the mild winter sun would melt the solidified grease, enough to ooze it out from the orifice. Not sure what KMP stood for, but a joke used to go around that KMP stands for KEBALA MAALISH PAAIN which in Odia means "Suitable only for Massaging (buttering)".
Oiling or buttering comes in many shades, hue and color, in different shapes and sizes. Irrespective of its form the effect can be quite profound. MASKA LAGANA (in Hindi) or TELA MAARIBA (in Odia) both of which means buttering is an art.
A guy during my college days perfected it. We had this fastidious, stubborn Professor who was rarely approachable. He approached him for a favor only to be rebuffed by the teacher - "Your TELA (buttering) won't work on me". The student smiled back and politely replied, "You are correct Sir, you are the only Professor in this entire institution who is not susceptible to buttering". The professor smiled back and acquiesced. My friend came out, bearing a Tom Cruisesqe "Mission accomplished" smile. It's not the mean, the end that matters. Irrespective of the mode of application, the efficacy of the oil massaging is vindicated by the results.
The familiar sight of a few classmates obsequiously following the teachers with one hand inside their pocket, the other hand scratching the back of their ear with the head slightly bent would ring a bell to many. They are invariably males. As I studied in Co-Ed institutes, no idea about how much buttering was done in the girls only school and colleges, those who would readily volunteer to run the teacher's errands.
Their impressive TELIABILITY (TEL in most Indian language means Oil + Ability. Hope one day the word makes into the Webster) impacted our teacher's malleability. Westerners who in general are not so accustomed to flattery, often readily fall for it. Most Orientals are arguably tougher nuts to crack, one needs to work harder due the surplus of our sebaceous glands in tropical environments.
In Odia we have a proverb "TELIA MUNDARE TELA" transliterated "excess of oil lies on a oil soaked head". Literally it means those who have, always tend to have more. But in reality it needs some extra effort for the oil to sip in because the head already has surplus oil, similar to water which percolates better on a dry surface rather than wet one. But nothing beats the "Teliability" of the KMP oil.
There is this funny incident from an English medium school in Odisha. During a School Exam one of the questions set in Odia language paper was to fill in the blanks as TELIA MUNDARE ______. Translated roughly into English "Oil soaked Filled Head Has __________". Most students filled in the blank with the obvious answers like Shampoo, Soaps etc. Quite logical and makes a hell lot of sense. Any smart person would need a generous helping of shampoo or soap to clean an oil soaked head.
Well, their smart answers turned out to be wrong.The correct answer is "TELA" (Oil). This is a classic Odia proverb meaning "More affluence for the affluent", in the sense rich gets richer. Can't blame the students as TELA (oil) would be last thing one would think to add to an already oil soaked head.
Adlai Stevenson, the US politician who lost the 1956 Presidential Elections once said - "Oh, flattery. It's like cigarette. It is all right if you don't inhale the smoke. If you do, you can get lung cancer".
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