Early this morning I saw a dream of wearing a pair of North Star shoes, a popular sneaker and probably the only decent one available during my childhood days. I felt happy, waking up with a fulfilling feeling.
North Star shoes, with black and yellow stripes resembling a tiger's skin used to cost Rs99.99 a pair, a sizable amount in the year 1980, in the days of socialism and closed market economy, when jeans and sneakers were luxury items. This brand was available in Bata, a chain of stores apart from Carona which offered decent shoes in Bhubaneswar those days.
I requested my dad to get a pair for me. My father was always generous to me, fed me exotic, quality food, took me to good restaurants of those days, bought me my favorite books, comics, magazines and took me to watch cricket in Barabati Stadium. But he sneered at the idea of buying a pair of North Star shoes, firmly put down his foot on the my longing desire.
His logic - while teaching in BJB College, Bhubaneswar, he has seen the
North Star shoes worn only by the CHATARAs (girl chasing vagabonds) and BAZAARIs (free roaming loafers). The hall mark of a BHALA PILA (a good guy) those days, a category an overwhelming majority of students fell into - to wear cheap Canvas shoes polishing it's dirt off using a white paste or CHAPPALs (sandals). My dad's convictions vetoed my desire.
Time and again, I would peep at the North Star shoes through the glass, displayed in front of the BATA Store located in Unit II (probably only one at that time), salivating at it, dreaming to wear it one day. But luck wasn't on my side, I could never wear them. The North Star was like that star I wished for , so near yet so far. Soon the brand went out of the selves and out of the market.
Eventually, I forgot about it. Never thought about it for a long time, until this morning when I found myself wearing a brand new pair of North Star shoes it in my dream. Childhood memories can be very stubborn, especially about the things we longed for, our feelings we craved about, fantasized or had a crush on, dwelling deep inside our subconscious mind.
The small smoldering sparkle has never vanished from the already extinguished inferno. The wish inside the child in me was never dead, it was lying dormant, ready it rise as Phenix from the ashes. The ever hidden subconscious desire recalled and manifested itself after decades in my dream. No wonder, I woke up with a wonderful sense of fulfillment .