CHA PAANA BIRATI

In 1979, as a 10 year old cricket fan, I was watching a match between the touring Australian team and India at the Barabati Stadium, Cuttack, Odisha. There was no TV those days. The gallery was full of transistor wielding spectators.

Came afternoon. Close to tea, came the announced  from the Odia commentator "CHA PAANA BIRATI", meaning "Tea Break". The person sitting next to me gave me some unsolicited information, that the players will go outside for tea and chew a few betel leaves (PAAN) during this break, hence the name "CHA PAANA BIRATI".

I believed him and imagined Alan Border along with Kim Hughes going out to a kiosk outside and ordering GOPAL ZARDA (A popular scented tobacco) PAAN, followed by a "Cutting Chai", brewed from a coal oven. However I took it for granted that Rabi Panda, a player representing Odisha those days, did so.

My grandfather who saw Imran Khan rubbing the red cherry vigorously on his groin during India's tour in 1982-83, though that the Pakistani player was having JAADU or KUNDIA (Eczema) infection. He ascribed it to the Pakistani's eating Beef - a supposedly hot meat with side effects like skin desease, who could be immensely benefited from using a liberal dosage of MANMOHAN JAADU MALAM, a locally available Eczema cream.

At Ft. Lauderdale - Cruise time Aboard Carnival Conquest, 2016

Feels so cool aboard the Carnival Cruiseliner, as the cool Atlantic breeze  blows across warm and muggy Ft. Lauderdale, neae Miami. This is the kind of Sunday afternoon I don't mind looking forward to, as it doesn't remind me of the work week ahead.

Time to soak up some sun and fun, inhale some fresh,tropical air, conquest the Eastern Carribean aboard the aptly named Cruiseliner "Carnival Conquest". Time to shrug off some jaded nerves in the picturesque Bahamas, Dominican Republic and Grand Turk Islands.

The drive to destination was 600 odd miles from my place. We took a night halt at Stuart, Florida. I told the Gujju bhai at the motel desk, that in America so many motels are owned by Patels, they can very well renamed as Potels.

He smiled, trying his best to ape an American accent - "This MYOTHEL' s owner is a Shah". I replied "it's Shotel then. POTEL or SHOTEL, you have made India, Gujurati and India proud, strictly in that order". Impressed, our Gujju bhai (bro) offered us comimentaries. As it goes - BADI BADI KHUSIYAN HAI CHHOTI CHHOTI BATON MEIN, meaning, Small talks bring tons of happiness. Little sweet talk never hurts.

Once during one of my Florida halts, I checked into a motel one hot summer afternoon. While the receptionist handed over me the magnetic strip key to our room, feel the waves of wafting cool air from the AC caressing my cheeks. I saw a mosquito surreptitiously sitting on her cheek.

While handing over the key, she smiles at me "Do you have any questions ?" I said "May I slap you ?" "What ?" She retorted back. I pointed to the mosquito on her cheek. Bursting into laughter, she slapped herself to swat it away and said  - "Welcome to Florida". We call Mosquito our National Bird.

She had a point, as we continued driving past numerous marshes and low lying swamps. I saw couple of Mango trees, with branches burdened with clusters of low hanging fruits. Weather was getting warmer and muggy.

Numerous palm trees swayed and waved at us as we went past towns, appropriately named as Palm Coast, Palm City, Palm Bay, West Palm Beach etc. Florida is unique it's way. The more South you travel, it gets flatter, surrounded by bodies of water, and to the chagrin of Republicans demography more Democratic. More  later....

Analysis of Assembly elections in India 2016

Here is my analysis of the results of recently concluded Assembly elections in India, on state by state basic.

ASSAM - BJP swept to a historic two-third majority in this North Eastern state. Rahul Gandhi kept on sticking to a obscurantist Gogoi, whose rampant pampering of minorities, the presence of the AIUDF a pro-Muslim party allergic to many and influx of illegal immigrants from neigboring Bangladesh, all helped to fuel a rare Hindu backlash, who though divided by caste are occasionally  united by existential crisis. This was one of such occasions.

BENGAL - Mamata is the new Left in West Bengal, the old CPM wine is recycled in TMC Bottle. Whatever left was of Left, has been totally decimated. Minority pampering and illegal immigration is a serious issue in this state. BJP had a golden chance to latch on to it and reap some tangible electoral benefits, a la Assam. But it lost the opportunity to build on it. Modi magic can't always deliver. It's time for BJP to groom a local leader in the state, rather than falling back on faddists like Bappi Lahiri. Their actors cum political parachuting turncoats like Hema Malini, Satrughan Sinha etc are proven to be more liabilities than assets to the party.

TAMIL NADU - Amma Brand worked in a state, where Congress party has been  virtually impotent since the days of "Amma Indiramma" due of her pragmatic alliance with Anna MGR. In the fight between the Dravidian Duo, the protégé of MGR survived. People of Tamil Nadu haven't forgotten the corruption by the extended clan of Karunanidhi. The later should thank the mother nature for giving him some hope by pouring some extra amount of rain last December, which gave Amma a little scare in the seats from the northern part of the state which was impacted by unprecedented flood only 6 months back.

KERALA - God's own country is the only place where the Goddless Communists thrive, after they have been become an endangered species in Bengal like its Royal Bengal Tiger. The most educated state is toing and froing between the Communist and Congress led governments, and wisely so to keep them on their toe. It's another matter that the down in moral Congies did everything wrong in power to keep repeating its history.

PUDUCHERRY - Only place Congress can boast of a decent performance but no one hardly cares about this politically insignificant Union Territory.

Contrary to opinion of many, BJP has hardly gained anything from these elections, except Assam. In fact it failed to break the firewalls of Bengal, Tamil Nadu and Kerala, who between them have 100 Parliamentary constituencies up for grab.

The biggest loser however is - Congress, a party which now survives on piggybacking on its partner parties, like parasite leeches and mosquitoes feeding off on others. The concept of Congress Mukt (free) Bharat (India) seems to be well on fast track.

If Congress were a Corporate entity, Rahul Gandhi would have been sacked for non-performance long ago for failing to deliver the desired results. Sadly, such fixing of accountability can't be expected from family led feudal fiefdoms.

The fascinating story of the Mughals

Just finished the book, EMPIRE OF THE MUGHALS - The Tainted Throne, by Alex Rutherford. A fascinated read. The writer has vividly captured images from late  Medieval India, based on his outstanding historical research. Let me narrate a few from that era, sourced from several books including this one and rephrased in my own words.

 

One major source for the author was Sir Thomas Roe, the Englishman who arrived at Jehangir's Court with gifts from his Crown Royal. The Mogul Emperor of Hindustan received the British merchant well, by letting him pick his choice from his harem of 300 plus mistresses to shrug off his jaded nerves after a long ship sojourn from a distant land.

 

The Mughal Kings, Champion hypocrites they were, had no qualms about taking multiple wives and Concubines, yet they did not allow their sisters to marry. To become the SAALA of some one by marrying off their sisters, would make them inferior, something beneath the dignity of Mughal emperors. (Saala means wife's brother, but in Indian subcontinent often used in a derogatory context. An address of Saala can mean, the seducer of your sister).

 

It probably explains why a Mughal princess was once caught off guard by the guards, when an unknown male was seen inside her chamber in the middle of night. Chased by the guards, the man jumped off the the Agra Fort to be swallowed by the  swirling waters of a flooded Yamuna. The princess pleaded her innocence, apparently to protect her honor from the wrath of her Royal brother. The so called intruder was never found.

 

Westerners were good at keeping notes and Sir Thomas Roe's Diary is a major source of interesting information for the author. Jehangir was fascinated by the global map shown to him by the English trader, the stories of the floral and fauna from the cool climes of a faraway land and the gifts he brought from his island nation. Thomas Roe wrote back to his King - the Royal English Crown is nothing compared to the wealth and power wielded by the Almighty Alamgir Jehangir, the Emperor of India.

 

The quest for this abundance saw Khushru, the 19 year old son of Jehangir to revolt against his father. The revolt was ruthlessly quelled. Jehangir jailed his son in Gwalior fort. Those who sided with his son met gory end. Their anus were carefully placed on protruding stakes, on which they sat and shat to slow, agonizing death.

 

Their bodies were left alone to rot, to be feasted by vultures, as the emperor personally inspected the bloody shit, literally to his satisfaction. He forced his son Khushru helplessly watch the painful shrieks of his supporters. He thought the sight of death and torture of his son's ardent supporters and generals, sitting on stakes, as blood and shit poured all over would prevent his son from  attempting any further revolt.

 

So he thought, as it hardly curbed his son Khushru's ambition, who being an effective organizer, was on the verge of attempting another coup, to be spoiled yet again by his alert father. But still, Jehangir won't kill him. After all he was his own son, not his brother. But to finally put an end to his son's blind ambition, he ordered to make him blind.

 

Powerful men overpowered his son and poured over a high dose of opium laced water (anaesthesia of the time) down his throat. Khushru was drowsy from the effect of opium taking over him, while the Royal Hakims (doctors) stitched his eyelids, but never his ambition.

 

After his dad Jehangir's death, Khushu took off the sewn strings from his eyes. Still half blind from his long stint with stitched eyes, he declared himself as Emperor and fought with his brother Khurram (who later became Emperor Jahan, the builder of Taj Mahal).

 

Sah Jahan defeated his brother. When a chained Khushru was brought before his victorious brother, he yelled without remorse - in our Mughal tradition it's TAKHT YA TAKHTA (Crown or Coffin). You can kill me, not can never kill my ambition.

 

Sah Jahan's duly obliged his brother by  sending him to Coffin, forever ending his ambition for the coveted crown. Unlike Jehangir, who after all was Khushru's father and only sealed his son's eye, Sah Sahan had no qualms about sending his brother to the gallows.

 

Also the fascinating story of Noor Jahan, whose husband was killed by Jehangir's order so that the King can make her his Begum (wife). She was a smart and shrewd woman, who unlike other Mughal queens was tom boyish, expert at shooting muskets and hunting tigers. She regularly fed her husband Jehangir with opium laced wine to keep him drunk and herself drunk with power.

The powerful, orthodox Mullahs of Delhi objected to this dominance of a woman, but she was too powerful for them. The Mullahs fell flat on her feet, a typical show of obeisance in Indian culture, to save themselves from public flogging.

 

And so many episodes of intrigue, Durbar politics, sycophancy and back stabbing when DALAALs (fixers) ruled the roost, filling in the gap between the ruler and the ruled. 400 years down the road, feudalism and throne worship still persists, albeit in the guise of democracy.

Trump and Daily security briefings

In 1945, when the 4th term American President Roosevelt, popularly known as FDR, died in office, Harry Truman who was barely 6 months in office as his VP, stepped into the President's office.

At that point Truman had no idea that Nuclear weapons existed and was unaware of the Manhatten Project. Starting from 1952, he started this tradition of sharing the National Security briefings amongst the nominated Presidential candidates.

It was an offer a Presidential candidate need not take. In fact, in 1984, the then Democrat nominee Walter Mondale refused to take this offer. But most get a knowledge of the security-related briefings during their tenure of campaigning.

Now with Trump being the presumptive nominee  (he should be the official one in the Republican Convention in July), there some concerns about sharing state secrets like ungoing Covert operations and other classified activities with him.

Knowing his penchant for being crazy and unpredictable and his dislikes for the Bushes, Obama and not to mention the Clintons, he can very well spill them during the campaign to pin his opponent.

Since World War II, the VPs who succeeded their Presidents due to death or otherwise could never got reelected.

It seems there is curse associated with VPs replacing the incumbent Presidents.
Truman succeeded FDR in 1945 and won the elections in 1948. But he lost his reelection to Eisenhower in 1952.

After Kennedy's assassination in 1963, Johnson became the President. He was elected with a massive mandate in 1964, only to see his popularity shrunk so low in 1968, that he opted out of reelection.

Gerald Ford became President in 1974, after Nixon resigned on the aftermath of the Watergate Scandal. He lost to Jimmy Carter in 1976.

The curse of VP doesn't end there. Both Nixon and Al Gore, two time VP to their respective Presidents Ike and Clinton, lost narrowly in 1960 and 2000. The senior Bush, a 2 time VP, who succeeded Reagan lost his reelection to Clinton in 1992.

Not to mention, Dick Cheney and Joe Biden, both 2 term VP couldn't run for the Presidential office. Cheney sensed a defeat in 2008 due to "Dubya" Bush's high unpopularity. I believe, the untimely death of his son at his time of his bidding put an end to Biden's Presidential ambition. So the curse of VP continues...

Drinking water and immunity from it

Today evening, tired after mowing 3 bags of grass, I wiped sweat off my forehead. Feeling thirsty, rushed to the closest faucet, washed off dirt from my hands and bent over to drink the cool, tap water. No sooner than I was done, it reminded me of my son's terse reminder of what I always tell him, to wash his hands with soap and warm water for at least 20 seconds before eating or drinking out of it. I did not do any of that.

 

In our school days, during the recess and post HPER (Health Physical Education and Recreation) period, we used to drink using our folded palm from the rusty faucet under a huge water tank inside the school premises. There was hardly any soap available to wash hands. It was rumored that many mice, lizards and cockroaches had taken water burial inside that tank, so the water must have been Protein fortified.

 

Yet nothing alarming ever happened to me. The immunity I got from drinking that water over years, has probably given my stomach a protective coating. I still have the confidence to drink straight from tap water using my palms. The tap water here is safe anyway.

 

Soon I moved to the hostel in REC (now NIT) Rourkela. During the monsoon the brown, muddy water from the tap was exactly the same as it's source Brahmani river flowing nearby. It could rival the yellow water served in our dining hall, (as the DAAL was sarcastically referred to, you need to churn and scoop for minutes inside the container before you can find traces of the legume).

 

The inept and corrupt authority hardly did anything to fix the water supply problem. No wonder typhoid, jaundice and water borne diseases were common, though I was lucky to escape any major ailment. The campus doctor, nicknamed as GHODA (horse) was a curse on the "Hippocratic Oath". He would give substandard medication to the poor students, while rumored to siphon off the more effective ones, greasing his Superior's palms.

 

My grandmother used to say "GA**I RE JADI DHULI LAGIBANI, KI PILA SE" - What kind of kid one is, if its ass won't be soiled by dust" ? It was a matter of pride for her to see me return with pant full of sand after playing on mounds of sand. That per her, would make me the son of the soil.

Kids these days hardly play in dust or dirt, their parents being too protective. My son can't boast of having the same immunity as me. During his last trip to India, he picked up some bug, threw up and had loose motion for an entire day.

 

Fortunately he recovered on time. But staying outside, over the years, I have started losing the immunity to loose motions, if I eat street food back home, I get an upset stomach. One fine evening, I gobbled up a dozen GUPCHUP (Odia term for GOLGOPPA or PANIPURI) washed down by LASSI (sweetened yogurt) from a road side stall.

Next couple of days I spent controlling the floodgates which opened from both ends. After the recovery I felt a lot lighter. My jeans felt no more tight. The road side food did wonders, in so less a time which no diet for exercise can do. One thing I have learnt the hard way. It's always best to eat the street food steaming hot and careful with the water you drink. Prevention is always better than cure.

Auto Strike in Bhubaneswar

How silly this can be !!! The Auto Ricksaw drivers in Bhubaneswar hate competition from the cab services OLA, UBER etc. Demanding to sustatin their  monopoly, they went on strike strike today - Commuters be damned.

The Consumer should be the King, the Customer should be God. Competition is is always best for the consumers or commuters. A plethora of available  options always leads to freedom of choice and reduction in fare.

Thanks to Dipti bhai, my only tryst with smartness in the so called Smart City of Bhubaneswar came during my last trip through my experience with OLA, a cab service similar to Uber. He used the OLA App to call the cab services to fetch me from Swosti Grand, near Master Canteen to my home in Old Town.

It arrived promptly at the doorsteps of the hotel in less than 5 minutes. My trip to home cost me only Rs.109. Impressed with the promptness and convenience of the service, I promptly tipped the driver handsomely. He earned my respect and in return, I earned a gracious thank you note from him.

"Auto" cracy is at its worst in the city of Bhubaneswar. They want to outsmart and out run each other in the rat race of catching the next BHADAA, the Odia term meaning rental passengers.

No one clutters the road more than these recalcitrant autos. There's hardly any designated Pedestrian or Zebras crossing in Bhubaneswar. You have to tip toe and sway your hips, waving and clenching hands like an eunuch towards the incoming traffic to cross the road. Road crossing is an art and one needs to be a trapeze artist to cross the crossroads of Bhubaneswar. I hope more, sustained competition ameliorates the traffic nuisance, ending the "Auto" Crazy.

Why Trump won the nomination and what it means

Trump's nomination being assured, Hillary fires the first cannon at her presumptive rival, by calling him a "Loose Cannon". The battle line are drawn - though it won't be until July, when both Trump and Hillary become the official nominees of their respective parties by accepting the nomination at their conventions.

An year before, if anyone predicted Trump winning the Republican nomination, would have been regarded as hallucinating or under some sort of substance abuse. But he defied the norms, laughing his way, taking one step towards the cherished, most powerful position on surface of earth.

Here is my take on why Trump beat all the conventional wisdoms and won against all odds.

First, it has a lot to do with America's fascination towards new face. John McCain being a veteran politician knew it, so brought in Sarah Palin as his running mate to salvage his faltering campaign in 2008. The lady's sudden arrival at the national political scene had an electrifying effect, soon catching the imagination of American public. But it wasn't enough to puncture Obama's meteoric rise - another new face who successfully sold his message of "Hope and Change".

Secondly, the current mood in America is anti-establishment. The general perception with the general public - the Washington has failed them. Trump during his campaign, time and again successfully painted his rivals as stooge of lobbyists and it worked well for him. The fact that a 74 old nondescript, self proclaimed socialist (a rarity in America - a centre right country), is continuing to give Hillary Clinton a run for money, has vindicated it.

Thirdly, he spent his own money, versus his rivals who spent an estimated $400 millions of mostly donor's money, only to see the "Stop Trump" movement collapsing like a pack of cards. Money well spent on Negative ads against him was money well wasted, with minimal effect on Trump's popularity amongst his supporters.

Finally, he touched a cord with the Conservative Republican base of the party - the Suburban White, Male who are hit by migration of their jobs to offshore and diehard opponents of illegal immigrants, who now number, estimated to be 12 millions.

It will be foolish for Democrats to underestimate the Trump phenomenon. A candidate with momentum on his back can be of dangerous proposition to his opponents. One only has to go back couple years when a resurgent Narendra Modi caught his opponents off guard. Trump is a powerful orator who connects to his audience and is already a cult figure to his diehard fans.

Per my calculation, in a normal election Hillary will beat Trump by 350-190 electoral college votes. But we are not living in normal times. A major terror strike on American soil or an unprecedented economic slump can overturn the applecart. Still a word of
caution to Hillary - Underestimate him at your peril.

Lastly, I suggest we get rid of this system of delegates, super delegates, proportional allocation, winner take all, pledged delegates etc, by switching to an election system of simple majority. Let the person who wins the highest votes get nominated - as simple as that.

Also, it's time to get beyond this electoral college system. Whoever wins the highest number votes nationally, becomes the President. Otherwise, the electoral dysfunction of year 2000, when Al Gore won the popular vote but Bush won the Presidency, can repeat yet again.

Bihanga Biplaba- The Mutiny of Birds

Remember the story BIHANGA BIPLABA (The Mutiny of Birds) from our School Days SAHITYA (Odia literature) textbook, taught in Class VI ? It's a very funny story with powerful connotations.

A bunch of birds protested against the ordeals they had to go through, to which the wise Bear King gave a patient hearing. He was about to give his verdict in their favor, when the clever monkey intervened to manipulate his decision by bribing the King with a ripened Jackfruit, a delicacy for the animal. I still remember a sentence from that story - RE KAAU RAAU RAAU HUANA (Hey crow, don't caw with you coarse voice).

Jackfruit is synonymous with Summer in Odisha. Brings back memories from home, where come late Spring - early summer, it's time to savor the raw variety of this fibrous fruit in the form of fries, curry or DALMA (an Odia dish of boiled lentils and vegetables).

In late summer the ripened Jackfruits form an essential part of the Odia festive occasions of Savitri and Raja. In my village, we owned an orchard filled with Jackfruit trees, the most fruitfulls of them were given nicknames, based on the color, texture and taste. On of them, leaning right into river BHARGAVI was called PODA RANGI PANASA  (Smouldering Red Jackfruit) for its Bright  Red color and sweet, succulent pulp.

Bhubaneswar then was a sleepy township of salaried people. Jackfruit trees were a common sight inside the compounds of government quarters, closely followed by SAJANA CHHUIN (
Drumsticks) and Papaya trees. During the summer months one can see huge cylindrical jackfruits protruding from the trunks, like the sagging fats of an enormous Sumo wrestler.

When they start to ripen, this fruit emits a strong smell which attracts bats and jackals, the name jackfruit probably comes from the later. It brings a deja vu feeling in me of my childhood summer trips to my village when passing through the TOTA (orchard) one can smell the ripe jackfruit from a distance. My villagers back then used to cherish the juice extracted from ripe jackfruits. Not sure if it's the same these days.