Imran Khan - The pace man to the peacemaker

The decision of the Prime Minister of Pakistan Imran Khan to return the captured Indian Fighter Pilot could not have come at a better time. The suave, Queen's English speaking Pathan has always achieved what he wanted in life. This has already catapulted him into the limelight, as a step in the right direction - from a man of pace to a peacemaker.

As a cricket captain he desired to defeat England in England and India in India. He got both fulfilled. He went on to win the Cricket World Cup in 1992 after motivating his team when all hope was gone as they were one game shy of elimination. He soon built a Cancer hospital in memory of his mother, first of its kind in a poverty stricken Pakistan.

The ultimate alpha Male, he bedded a number of lasses, produced at least one known Bastard (from the six feet American girl Sita White. He first denied but admitted of fathering a girl child when US Court summoned him to do a paternity test). He married multiple times including the daughter of a super rich Jewish tycoon - a girl half his age.

When Imran Khan joined politics, he was laughed off and expected not to replicate his success on the Cricket field in the murky world of politics. Yet he became the Prime Minister - the ultimate dream of any politician of Indian subcontinent. Now with the single masterstroke of returning the Captured pilot, he has positioned himself as a man of peace. Politics is a matter of perception. It's the gesture what matters. A climbdown from the Pakistani leader is seen as a peace offer which India can hardly refuse. If India escalates at this point, it runs the risk of being branded as an international pariah.

Love him or hate him- the man has a midas touch, touching everything on his way into gold. Historically too, from the days of Zia, Musharraf and now Imran - Paki leaders are apt at stealing the diplomatic show. They have mastered the art of Running with the hare and hunting with the hound. 

In spite of a whirlwind war footing diplomatic effort by India, no nation of substance has blamed Pakistan for being behind the Pulawama attack nor agree with our view of Kashmir as an integral part of India. All are advocating peace, still hyphenating India - Pakistan.

We have already proved our point that we should not be anymore taken for a ride. Remember what JFK said - "We shouldn't negotiate out of fear, but we shouldn't fear to negotiate. Nothing sounds prophetic than now in the context of present Indo - Pak imbroglio.

Truth is the first casualty of war

As India and Pakistan have gone fighting on air and wrestling on the airwaves, truth becomes the first casualty of war. War comes at a price - with casualty and collateral damages. It is not Bollywood movie "GHADR - EK PREM KATHA" where a Sunny Deol kills all Pakis who stand on his way, bringing his bride back from the heart of Lahore into India unscathed. There will be blood, sweat and tears on both sides of the border if the war lingers on. 

A plethora of fake news and videos galore and have gone wild, hardly helping any other than making it difficult to chaff out the real news from fake ones. Responsibility has never been our forte. Media, social or otherwise is doing an utterly irresponsible reporting. In his book "WE INDIANS" Khushwant Singh has written a whole chapter about our SUBZANTAWALLA (Mr. Know All) tendency. This is pretty apparent now.

War is not a video game. Spreading rumors and misinformations can be deadly. Remember that the legendary Kautilya (Chanakya) the mentor of Chandragupta, the Scion of Maurya dynasty prescribed death penalty for those spreading rumors. In 300 BC he was way ahead of his time.

Reminds me of a story from the great folklore PANCHATANTRA (The Five Treatise), a series of meaningful short stories compiled by ancient story teller Vishnu Sharma. Once a sage told a snake to stop biting people. The snake followed the sage's order quite literally.

One day the badly beaten snake came back to the sage blaming him for his bad HAALAT (plight). The sage said - "I told you to stop biting, did not tell you to stop hissing or raising your fang". The snake got the hint and was never attacked again.

After showing immense restrain for more than quarter of a century in spite of constantly battered with fusillades from our western neighbor, we finally showed some spine. Our Nuclear weapons can be used to strike a lethal bite, but our hissing or raising the hood, snarling our venomous teeth can do a lot to scare them.

We have raised our fangs, flexing our muscles by bombing with the help of air power. It's time to stop airing bombastic jingoism on TV Channels and social media. Not that the Pakis won't create any nuisance in the future, but they are not going to take us lightly any further.

Let's have no qualms about Pakistan being diplomatically isolated in totality. When push comes to the shove China and Saudi will back Pakistan. America will stay neutral or at best will try to play the role of a peacemaker. So, a message for the armchair war mongers - let our soldiers and diplomats do their job. They have done a commendable job on their respective fronts. Lesson no 1 - War and diplomacy should never be done on media glare.

Kukkad Khande Joge Ho - Apt at eating chicken

The other day while discussing about the recent Pulwama attack, an outraged friend of mine uttered - "PAKISTANI KU MARI DABA (Let's kill the Pakistanis)". My instant response - "AME KANA MARIBA ! PAKISTAN AMA KU MARI MARI POLA KARI SARILANI." (What kill we can do ? Pakistan has screwed our bottom enough, widening our orifices beyond repair and redemption). Everybody around laughed. My friend just chuckled with a mix of appreciation of my earthly sense of humor conveyed in a rustic Odia way, though I could sense he didn't like me throwing cold water on his bellicosity. (I should learn how to tell the truth, but tell it slant).

The writer Khushwant Singh was once visiting Hong Kong, close to the heels of the humiliating defeat suffered by India at the hands of the Chinese on the aftermath of their surprise attack on our Eastern front in October, 1962.

As the eminent writer on a journalist assignment was walking on the street, a Sardar called him from behind shouting  "SARDARJEE (As Sikhs are addressed in reverence). DESH SE AYE HO (have you come from our country ) ? TUMNE TO NAAK BHADDA DITTA (you cut our nose - meaning you have shamed us)".

He continued - "CHINIYAAN NE TO TUMHARI BH**ND MAARLI (the Chinese have screwed your bottom). KUKKAD KHAANDE JOGE HO (You are now only good at eating chicken - poking at the penchant of the Punjabis towards eating chicken. The pun was, you are good for nothing, chicken eating folks, who have forgotten how to fight).

The Sardar of Hong Kong went on further - "I used to boast before my Chinese wife about the great martial tradition of Sikhs. Now she is poking fun at me". Point taken, the Chinese beat us left and right in that war, catching us unware, following the age old military adage, "surprise is the main element of war".

History repeats itself. Fast forward to the year 2019. No surprise here, as Pakistan origin surprising attack again took toll on our soldiers in Kashmir. The Chinese  attacked us just once. Pakistan has been doing it effectively since 1993 terror attack in Bombay. 

The witty Sardar if alive today would've come up with something naughty in Punjabi to describe the fact that Pakistan has been screwing us relentlessly for the last 25 years. Our response so far has been multiple orgasms of JAI HINDs uttered on social media while they have the last laugh while zipping their pants, totally exhausted after screwing US until they get into the mood once again.

So far we have seen tons of verbally boisterous knee jerk reactions without anything tangible on the action front. Social media warriors have upped their ante, picking gauntlets to punish Pakistan by forfeiting the match against them in the upcoming Cricket World Cup. While our batting legends Sachin Tendulkar and Sunil Gavaskar are opposing such a silly move, those who have never held a cricket bat in their life, let alone played the game have become the chief protagonists of boycotting.

Reminds me of the legendary boxer Muhammad Ali who taking on punches from his opponents used to frequently taunt them - "Oh, man. That all you got". His irritated opponent lands him another one, some hit, some miss Ali to which he responds - "That was a sissy. That's all you got ?, Hey, that's girly. That's all you got ? ", until he tires his opponent out and lands his punchline punch.

So far, if Ali is to Pakistan, his opponent has been India. This may continue for a while until the day India is able to get the upper hand and announce a la Leon Spinks after defeating Ali - "I am the latest". Till then let's be - KUKKAD KHANDE JOGE HO (Good for nothing, good at eating Chicken). That's the best we can do.

Cricket as revenge on Pakistan

In the movie GLADIATOR the actor Joaquim Phoenix played the role of a Roman Prince who kills his father and becomes the Emperor. His ascension to power is not taken lightly by the powerful Senate elites of Rome who question the Emperor's efficacy to run the biggest empire of the time. They were trying their best to make him a puppet, unpopular to the public.

In order to counter the Senators the young Emperor announces a month long fiesta, the icing on the Cake of the series of entertainment was the Gladiator fights staged inside huge Roman Collesium. It was his creative way to distracting the attention of the citizens, as his subjects in Rome used to be called then.

Sipping wine, couple of Senators were having a chat outside the Collesium. "He (the Emperor) has turned out to be lot smarter than we thought" - opined one. The other Senator replied - "The pulse of Rome is not the Marble of the Senate floor, rather the dust of Collesium where the Gladiators duel for life".

Similarly the Pulse of India is not the floor of Parliament but its cricket fields. Cricket is the religion of India. Normally, we are Marathi, Punjabi, Tamil or Bengalis first. Only time we think and feel like Indians when India plays cricket against Pakistan or is attacked by its Western neighbor. Nothing ignites the passion or unites Indians more than their shared antipathy for Pakistan.

In this context, on the aftermath of the Pulawama attack orchestrated by Pakistan in Kashmir has united Indians like never before. Many Indians want to use cricket as a weapon by not playing cricket against Pakistan in the upcoming World Cup to be held this summer.

This is the probably the best we can do. An open, full fledged War with Pakistan is at best avoidable as we don't know how long will it go, where it will end. But what we know, it will to be an expensive affair with any Indian victory is going to be at best Pyrrhic, ending up  internationalizing the Kashmir issue - exactly what Pakistan wants.

The second option of proxy and covert war is untanable and currently out of question as we lack political will as well as capability to do so, unlike Pakistan who has already vindicated its ability of hitting us time and again not just in Kashmir deep inside our Mainland.

In this context, choking them financially by avoiding playing with them is something we can afford to do at this moment. Doing something is better than doing nothing. In the meantime we can advance the Indian Premier League (IPL) where the Gladiatorial cricket franchises will battle baying for each other blood keeping the Indian middle class busy. It will be the most pragmatic way to make the Chief protagonists of the War against Pakistan distracted - as our heartbeat is more glued to the cricket pitch more than anything else.

Pulawama Attack and the JNU Breed

JNU (Jawaharlal Nehru University) in Delhi is back in the news for wrong reason due to attack from the Right for their soft, Left of the center views of its alumni, both past and current, in the aftermath of the recent terror attack in Kashmir.

The famous or infamous University, depending on the way you see it is politicized beyond redemption. For them Left is Right, Right is wrong. Though I often disagree, I respect their viewpoint, as they have right to go against the Right, sometimes rightly so. This is the hallmark of a healthy democracy. 

I have visited the JNU Campus in 1990s and had eaten couple of times in their hostel mess (the food court of college hostels are called Mess in the local parlance). Their mess was a mess, food quality was appalingly substandard even by hostel standard, no where close to my Engineering college hostel. From what I heard from my host, the food was substantially subsidized, quality be damned. Those leftist leaders who subsidized it were sporadic visitors preferred to eat ouside in posh restaurants. They only came to the Mess to connect with the student voters during the Elections.

Signs of leftist ideology wafted in air. The hardcore socialist leaders during the day preached communism to core as the solution to all global evils. Come evening, they would hanker for Scotch or Bacardi (much sought after those days from a visitor with access to those fascinating Phoren stuff from the land of Bourgeois).

Later they would go out eating Ice Cream with girl friends in posh eateries of South Delhi. The juxtaposition of Communism with Scotch, followed by Ice Cream reeked of hypocrisy, as nauseating as an alcoholic's Piarrhoea effusing mouth. Our Commies are Champion hypocrites soaked with double standard.

Since then, much has changed, but not the leftist sentiments inside the Campus. Liberal thoughts still flow inside the institute as the river Yamuna in spate during the monsoon. Liberalism is not a dirty word, though I diagree with their brand of nonsense ultra liberalism with cautionary note to their breed - Being Liberal is one thing, being anti-national is another.

We can agree to disagree with American liberals, but they don't compromise when it comes to their national security. Best example is Obama, a Chicago liberal who had no qualms about taking out Osama bin Laden or ordering drone strikes on terrorists. (As far as I remember our Diggy Singh, Congress politician from Madhya Pradesh was the soul prominent politician in the entire South Asia to shed a few crocodile tears for his Osama Jee when US Special forces took him out inside Pakistan).

So do the self proclaimed Leftists likes of Digvijay, Laloo, Akhilesh, Kejri et all really care for the Kashmiris or the minorities ? I dont think so. They just salivate after their Votes for their own political gains. I am sure, if the Hindus who are 85% of the population but divided among castes cast their vote enblock, these so called champions of minorities will show their true colors by changing their allegiance. (Congress is already showing some signs of soft Hindutva). The recent incident in Kashmir is slowly metamorphing into several pieces of political pie, an effort to grab them by both Left and the Right, nothing else.

Pulwama attack - the cause and aftermath

After every terror attack on Indian soil, the social media goes berserk - becomes overactive with those baying for Paki blood. Most of them are upper caste Hindus belonging to the middle class, with little or no knowledge of Military or Geopolitics. Obsessed with Bollywood and Cricket their knee jerk patriotism will last until the next Salman Khan movie or IPL - which ever arrives first, until the cycle of attack repeats itself depending upon Pakistan's chosen time and place.

I am reminded of Julio Ribeiro, an Indian Supercop who once was the Police commissioner of Bombay (it wasn't Mumbai yet and there was no social media then). Once he took into custody a bunch of local Siv Sena hooligans caught harassing Muslims. He picked up the phone and pretended to be talking to an Army top brass at the other end. Turning to these young brats he told that impressed with their patriotism, the Army wants to hire them following a posting at the border. Using Odia slang -  TANKARA GA**I PHATI GALA (it made their asses crack, simply meaning they chickened out). The Facebook warriors are no different breed.

I have seen a plethora of JAI HINDs (Hail India) pouting on Social media like hails hitting the ground on a summer thunderstorm, hoping to make the Pakis pee in their pants. But as of 4PM IST, 16th February, it's advantage Pakistan. In the last quarter of the century that failed nation has been a fly in the ointment to us - always having the upper hand in terror strikes vis a vis India. 

All we can boast of is a disputed Surgical strike and a Bollywood movie eulogizing it as our solace. Many including me and independent media outlets were highly sceptical about the efficacy of surgical strike when it was announced with much publicity. Even if it was true, it doesn't seem to have reduced the nuisance value of Pakistan whose attacks in contrast are clear, precise and spectacularly executed by their so called non actors (our actors can only replicate such attacks in movies). It is always been an one sided mismatch for the last 25 years, with Pakistan 20 - India 0.5 (due to half success of the so called surgical strike). Giving credit where credit is due, our Western neighbor has a clear advantage.

Let's take a bow for our dead JAWANs (soldiers), throwing the emotions out and looking objectively at this incident where the 40 odd paramilitary personnel were blown away. It was an avoidable tragedy. They were sitting ducks for the Suicide bomber for no fault of their's, rather the poor planning by those at the helm of affairs who made this stupid decision of transporting 2,500 soldiers in a single convoy with plenty of security loopholes.

In the movie 7 DAYS IN ENTEBBE after the Operation was over the then Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin still under the glory of the victory vouched that this won't be the last attack by Palestinian Guerrillas and a long term political solution is needed. A pragmatic Rabin could see it even in the aftermath of the spectacular Commando Operation to rescue the hostages with minimal casualty.

Same is applicable to Kashmir. Followed by Military retaliation in the short term, a long term political solution is needed. But unlike the Israelis, we have been perceived as weak facing attacks after attacks originating from Pakistan without any retaliatory measures of note. Our political leaders lack guts to act tough. Also terrorism is not a major Election issue, limited to border areas and Metros. These kinds of attacks will continue in regular intervals for a long time to come.

Time for action is long overdue. We are champions of giving long speeches without any action. AME SABU BAKYA BIRA (We are strong in rhetorics). In simple Odia - AMARA GA**I RE PANI NAHI (We lack sufficient water stored in our ass, meaning we lack courage). As long as Terrorism is not a major Election issue in India, don't expect a lot. 

In global geopolitics, US officials are already in Pakistan talking to the Taliban. Earlier the negotion was going on in the neutral territory of Doha. It means the Americans are going to get out of Afghanistan sooner than expected. It also means Pakistan will divert  the unemployed Taliban graduates to India. Be afraid. Be very afraid. What we got so far is appetitzer. The main course is yet to come. Bon Appetit.

Priyanka Gandhi's entry into politics

Little more than a decade ago the Superstar Telugu Chiranjeevi formed a party - PRAJA RAJYAM (The Citizen State). The actor drew mammoth crowds in his state of erstwhile undivided Andhra Pradesh. A friend of mine, a huge fan of the actor turned politician boasted about the JANA (Mass) Tsunami created by his demi God who he was confident will sweep the polls.

Did Chiranjeevi attract huge crowds ? Yes, he did. Did it translate into vote ? No. The actor failed miserably winning only a handful of seats. Seeing no future prospect in his newly formed party, he later merged it with Congress which he not long ag branded as ABHINITI BATABRUKHYAM (The Banyan tree of Corruption).

Now fast forward to a decade. Like drowning man clutching to straw, a desparate Congress Party calling for desparate measures has roped in Priyanka Gandhi, the Scion of the Gandhi family and the Grand Old Party (GOP) of India. Currently in an Abysmal state in the states of UP and Bihar where the party has reached rock bottom, they have nothing to lose.

It was not so before when the Grand Old Party was a powerful force in the cow belt - a term used for the largely populated and politically vital Gangetic plain where the caste system is firmly cast in the minds of the people. The Congress party molded it, stitching together a formidable vote bank of BRAHMAN (Brahmins), HARIJAN (Scheduled caste), MAHILA (women) and MUSALMAN (Muslims).

This perfect winning recipe is passe now. Brahmins have moved long ago to BJP,  the women voters are scattered all over different parties. The Harijans have gone to BSP and Muslims to SP - leaving crumbs for the Congress party.

You can never separate caste from the cow belt politics. Reminds me of an episode narrated to me by a friend, the son of a senior bureaucrat from Delhi. He was in PMO when Indira Gandhi was at the Prime Minister. During Cabinet meetings, the ministers would break for lunch. Once, Indira Gandhi walked to Kamalapati Tripathy, a Brahmin and Railway minister from UP and asked him "Tripathy JEE. BABU JAGJIVAN RAM (a minister from Scheduled Caste in her cabinet) KAHTE HAIN KI AAP UNKE SAATH NAHI KHAATE (Mr. Tripathy, Jagjivan Ram complains, you don't eat with him)". 

Kamalapati replied - MADAM, MEIN AAP KE SAATH BHI NAHI KHAATA, USKE SAATH KYA KHAUNGA (Madam, I don't even eat with you, how can I eat with him) ? Indira, though born a Brahmin, lost her caste as well as religion after her marriage to Feroz Gandhi. She was never allowed inside the Puri Lord Jaganntah Temple post marriage.

The Congies (Congress supporters) now day dream about an Indira look alike Priyanka salvaging them, showering them with their long lost power. Apart from the looks, any similarity ends there. They should remember that Indira carved her niche by outsmarting her rivals, she steadfastly connected to her vote bank with catchy slogans, was a powerful leader and a tireless campaigner. Priyanka hasn't vindicated any of these qualities yet.

In a nation where 60% of the population is below the age of 35, hardly anyone roots for Indira now who died 35 years ago. Priyanka's presence may slightly revive a moribund Congress with a much needed jump start, especially in UP (it's gone in Bihar where it is happy to play second fiddle to a tainted Laloo). Will she be able to take it to the next level and make a sizable dent in the Congress part's fortune? I wouldn't bet on it.

7 Days in Entebbe

Just finished watching the movie "7 DAYS IN ENTEBBE" - Those 7 days leading to a Spectacular Israeli raid in Uganda's  Entebbe Airport to rescue the hostages from hijacked plane.

In June, 1976 an Air France Air liner was hijacked by Palestinian terrorists and landed in Entebbe Airport, Uganda close to Lake Victoria. The hijackers preferred Uganda, its eccentric dictator Idi Amin was perceived as being sympathetic to the Palestinian cause.

Days of stalemate passed. Israel refused to budge from its stance to negotiate with the terrorists. But after 3 days passed, when the captors threatened to kill the children amongst the passengers in two a day if the Israelis don't release their comrades, Israel started talking.

But it was a clever pretentious tactics by the Jewish state to buy time to kill the terrorists and rescue the remaining passengers (148 non Jewish passengers had already been released). Unknown to the rest of the world in the outskirts of Tel Aviv a replica of the Entebbe Airport was built and a full scale rehearsal of the rescue mission code named "Operation Thunderbolt" was going on. 

Already 6 days into the hijacking and debating, the Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin finally gave his go ahead to the mission. As the Prime Minister, Defence Minister Shamir and the Military Officers held their breath in a Cigarette smoke filled room, 4 Aircrafts filled with Commandoes took off to flying 2500 miles to land on the bank of Lake Victoria close to the airport in the middle of the night.

What followed was a swift and well timed Operation by the Israeli commandoes conducting a spectacular raid to rescue the passengers with minimal casualty. Only 4 passengers amongst the 102 passengers who were rescued were killed. All the 7 hijackers were mowed down along with 45 Ugandan soldiers, many before they could even realized that they were attacked.

The Israeli unit suffered one casualty - the Commando leader Yoni Netanyahu, the brother of the current Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu lost his life in that operation. (It probably brought the hardliner out of him). He led from the front and took the bullets as his first reaction team took on the control tower, bringing those shooting from there in no time. Yoni would later get the medal of Distinguished service posthumous. This Operation would go down in history as one of greatest military rescue operations with minimum casualty - something to be emulated as a lesson for the terrorists not to put the soft state tag on a nation.

True Human face is revealed during the time of crisis

A very close friend of mine passed away last week alone in his apartment. His sudden, tragic demise brought the best out of the most who pitched in whatever way they could. It also exposed the Bureaucratic wrangling and attention seeking syndrome of a few.

It was a reality check on the real face of humans whose true nature is revealed during crisis. A lot, especially the youngsters did a fabulous job. A few ex and present officials of a state based Association wanted to stay in maximum limelight with minimum credibility, taking advantage of the situation.

True to their bureaucratic nature these MUNDIs (a slang in Odia for Bossy guys) created hinderance and confusion regarding the gargantuan amount of $2,000 they coughed out from their Emergency fund. Multiple clauses were added about disbursement of the money for a noble cause which includes but not limited to 389 approvals from various persons on the executive body - not to mention the 856 hours allocated for discussion on how to return the unused amount of $672.35.

It reminds me of a scene from Bollywood movie APAHARAN (Kidnapping). Nana Patekar playing a Don hires a rookie kidnapper played by Ajay Devgan into his gang. Nana's perturbed henchman questions the veracity of taking Ajay into their folder. His boss Nana justifies his hiring - "PEHLE APNA AUKAAD DIKHAYA, USKE BAAD KAAM MANGA (He first proved his worth, then he asked for job). Similarly, it certainly looks great if I vindicate my ability and then brace for myself for any credit. Not the other way around.

In the iconic movie "3 IDIOTS", actor Aamir Khan speaks - "SUCCESS KE PICHHE MAT BHAGO. KAVEEL BANO. EK DIN SUCCESS TUMHARE PICHHE BHAGEGI". Transliterated - "Don't chase success. Be capable. One day Success will chase you". Respect is earned. One must learn to command, not demand it.

Aamir Khan's monologue speaks for itself. Some of these older generation of NRIs are jealous and insecure of the younger generation snatching away the limelight. But they must realize that their younger counterparts have earned it by proving themselves. It is time for them to gracefully pass the baton and stop being abysmal meddlers. Being a MARG DARSHAK (Guide) is fine as long as it's not unncessary, unsolicited and unproductive.