Forgive me for this long piece. It's related to my own experience, a life lesson I learnt the hard way. Thanks in advance for going through it. I promise to keep you engrossed till end and you won't get bored.
Aurangzeb, the last effective Mughal Emperor never trusted anyone, not even his trusted aides. He famously said he trusts no one but Allah. That was during the Medieval era. In the 1980s, Ronald Reagan, a modern age American President went a step further and added a disclaimer - "Trust, but Verify".In this context this incident happened exactly 2 years back. Here is some backdrop to it. Me and my two sisters, all residing in United States, trusted a guy who helped our parents living alone in India for 20 long years. It won't be an exaggeration to say that he was more like a family member. Let's call him Mr. X. My father is an amicable, talkative person with a great sense of humor. A glib talker, he possessed exemplary people skills. He can mingle with anybody big or small, rich or poor, men or women with equal aplomb, would easily develope a bond with them in no time. A jovial companion, popular in his surrounding milieu, everyone adores my dad and no one hates him. Those who know my father from close quarters, many who could be reading this blog can vouch for it.
Mr. X whom my dad trusted immensely, dwelt in a small, dingy rented house, a furlong away from our residence in Bhubaneswar. He drove an Auto Rickshaw for a living, mostly plying school kids and getting his "BHADA" (ride money) from passengers, taking them on long drives to Puri, Konark, Cuttack on weekends and other school holidays. Soon he got closer to my father by helping doing odd jobs for him, like bringing groceries, taking care of menial household works and running errands. Being empty nesters, it came handy for my parents to have a handyman in Mr. X staying close by - some one who could take care of their needs and headaches.
My parents were impressed by Mr. X's ultra dedication and hardwork. Money was never a problem. They helped him dispose off the Auto Rickshaw and purchase a jumbo sized van so that he could fetch more children and carry more people to distant destinations, enhancing his paltry income. Not to mention my siblings and I would pay him hefty sums of money and expensive gifts whenever we traveled to India. In meantime, as my parents got older as Bhubaneswar was getting more and more crowded. We needed assistance during our India trips to figure out the various locations in a rapidly changing city alienated from us by living abroad for years. Mr. X readily filled in the void.
In the year 2007 my father had a heart related procedure at Kalinga Hospital. Mr. X stayed close to dad and I, giving us company throughout our hospital stay. One night I had to spend outside the ICU where my father was recuperating. Mr. X gave me comfort by bringing a comforter. Though unnecessary for a hot, sultry night, it was necessary to prevent the hounding mosquitos 🦟 baying for my blood. It was a long day followed by a long night, but I could barely sleep. Trying to doze off a bit, I was suddenly awakened by a screaming woman in the middle of night standing next to a dead body in the corridor. Already sweating, I couldn't sleep any further. Mr. X poured me a cup of tea from a
thermoflask to sooth my nerves in that torrid time.
Soon Mr. X became a part of our family. We promised to help his daughter get married. But barely in her teens, she eloped with her boyfriend. He unhappy and became depressed, disapproving his daughter's marriage. My parents consoled him to let it go and focus on his only son's future. But the boy too got distracted, went astray and never focused in his studies. Mr. X managed to construct a decent house in the city with help of my father's finance. The man took good care of my parents during the horrendous Covid days when neither I, nor my sisters could travel to India for 3 long years. Thanks to God, Covid spared them. Life was good.
Or so we thought. As usual, my father put a lot of faith on Mr. X. But my mother noticed that their most trusted aide was hustling more money than necessary, plus occasionally showing abrasive behavior and signs of high handedness. She raised a red flag, confiding to me that Mr X was poking his nose into our household's financial matters and property related papers. My mom strongly suspected that Mrs. X (his wife) was prodding him to grab our house, staging a couple detat of sort.
Initially I didn't take my mother seriously. My parents were getting older and slower. As senior citizens they needed additional help. I hired a female nurse from a reputed local organization in Bhubaneswar. This decision didn't seem to go well with Mr.X. Trying to assuage his bruised ego I told him - "BHAINA (Brother). APANA (I never addressed him as TUME) BAHUT SAHAJYA KARUCHANTI (You are helping us a lot). Yet time has come for my parents to avail professional help. I told this to Mr. X on a video call to gauge his mood. From his body language it was pretty clear that my explaination failed to address his insecurity. I went ahead and hired a nurse.
No sooner the nurse came to our house, than my father suddenly fell ill due to urinary track infection. He was hospitalized for couple of days. Mr. X took care of my dad in the hospital and the lady nurse took over once he returned back home. That evening a visibly tired Mr. X removed his shirt and told the newly hired girl to give him a massage. The girl was shocked. She refused to oblige and rang me up. It was early morning in America. Still drowsy I gave the girl a patient hearing and turned furious at the audacity of Mr. X, a middle aged man's imbecility of asking a 20 year old girl for a body massage. Without minsing words I told the nurse in no uncertain terms - "You are hired by me to take care of my parents, not to cater to requests of body massages or any such weird requests. If he presses you any further to press his back, then put him on line over phone. I will talk to him".
Mr. X who apparently overheard this conversation got mad at me. He grabbed both mobile phones of my parents, locked the door from outside and left our home in a hurry. After a few minutes I called my dad. To my surprise, Mr. X picked up the phone. From the surrounding din and bustle and incessant honking of vehicles I figured out that he was somewhere outside in a crowded place. I was very blunt - "What are you doing outside carrying both phones of my parent ? What happens if some emergency comes up and my parents are incommunicado ! Please go to our house immediately and give them back their phones. Then go to your home and take some rest. Let the nurse do her work which she is being paid to do".
Later on I came to know that an angry and agitated Mr.X went to our home and shouted at top of his voice for everyone including our neighbors and tenants to hear - "What these folks know sitting there in America ? I control this house, "MU CHAHILE GOTE DINA RE E GHARA TALA PAKEI DEBI (If I wish I can close down this house in a day). That was the last straw. I told my parents loud and clear -"Come what may, from tomorrow Mr. X shouldn't show up at our doorsteps". Though I was sick of Mr. X, my sick father was sad to see him go. But my mother was furious on Mr. X after hearing about his "massage request" episode and him taking "PUNGA" (picking a fight) with her only son whom she loves more than anyone on earth.
Exactly two years later down the road, touchwood, things are much better with the support system we placed for our parents. But two years ago we were in a quandary as this incident happened so fast, so soon. It took just 2 days for a relationship of 20 years to come crashing down. Was it a classic case of familiarity breeds contempt ? Was it our goodness taken for granted ? Was it greed which overcame Mr. X, perpetuated by Mrs. X. May be a mix of all above.
Trust apart, I learnt a few lessons in life the hard way. The foremost of it being - no one is indispensable. Now I know why Aurangzeb ruled India for 50 years, the longest ever by any Mughal Emperor. Because he trusted nobody. I won't go that far as Aurangzeb, but would adhere to Reagan's policy of "Trust but Verify". No wonder Chanakya, the great Indian statesman, regarded as one of the finest brains in politics and administration once said more than 2,000 years ago - "Don't trust anyone, even your closest friend. KADACHIT KUPITAM MITRAM SABYA GUDHAM PRAKASAYET (never know an angry friend can disclose all your secrets)". I would substitute "secret" with "trust".
