Mid life blues

Call it the Midlife crisis or mid life blues, I can see it coming to my generation who are approaching 50 or recently jumped over the half century age barrier. The signs are stark, apparent and in certain cases ominous. Some have taken it into the stride, learning to live with it. The less fortunate are unfortunately consumed by it, becoming its unsuspecting victim.

It is a phase of life when you are neither here, nor there - pretty much akin to early teen days which is a veritable blend of THODASA BACHPANA, THODI SI JAWANI (A bit of childhood, a bit of youth). The Middle age stands for THODISI JAWANI - THODASA BUDHAPABN (A bit of youth and old age). In North India they say UMAR PACHWAN KI, DIL HAI BACHVAN KI (Age is 55, heart is of a child). This is about when the mid life crisis strikes without any warning. 

The mid life blues for men are mostly related about their job, business and career. For them their frustration hovers around career and money. Many harbor grudge towards themselves with a feeling of not making the best of their ability, with a morbid feeling of falling behind, especially when they compare to others. 

Every comparison is relative, it is worse when made with relatives who can be your worst enemy and  unhealthy competitors. For women, the blues is mostly their dwindling youth and vigor as they glide into the wrong side of 40s. The fairer sex is fully aware that of their youthful days are numbered, yet many pretend to be the possessor of eternal youth. This reminds me of a stanza from Kishore Kumar Song DIYE JALTE HAIN from movie NAMAK HARAAM -

DAULAT AUR JAWANI,

EK DIN KHO JAATI HAI.

(Money and Youth, One day will perish)

Can't speak about Money, but youth falters and fast loses its luster with aging, especially for female of the human species. A prized possession for them, many women can't cope up with this reality and enter into the mid life blues.

A good number of couples go through turmoils in married life as most divorces takes place at this age. Many procrastinate this inevitability till their middle age when they can go their separate way when the kids are big enough to understand and adjust. Till then the couples live as two different sides of the same coin - they live together, yet can't see one another.

Some dive into spiritualism, taking the plunge expecting to escape from the daily mundane drudgery, seeking instant gratification. It must be noted that not every body's mind, body, heart and soul are tuned to spiritualism. Most fail in their quest for peace and are taken advantage of by frauds and charlatans who try selling snake oil as instant panacea as cure to the boredom and frustrations in life. The return is hardly satisfying for the overwhelming majority and cherished mental peace still remains elusive.

A telltale sign of the mid life blue is the outpouring jealously laced innuendos on the social media towards Anup Jalota, a BHAJAN (devotional singer) who recently married a woman half his age. It is the spontaneous outcome of a vicarious feeling towards the the talented celebrity who could do what the salivating middle agers aspire but can't.

It reminds me a monologue from the Hindi movie SAAJAN -

TAQDEER BANANE WALE

TUJHE KUCH KAMI NA KI,

AUR KISIKO KYA MILA

MUQADDAR KI BAAT HAI.

The fortune maker hasn't

Made you any lesser,

Who gets what

Is a matter of life's fate.

To Sir and Honorables with love

These days I have seen posting on Facebook, mostly by employees of Government of India who address mundane MPs and MLAs as Honorable So and So. It makes sense when "Honorable" is deserved for the deserved few, e.g., the President, Prime Minister, Chief Justice and even Chief Ministers of States in India. But to address an MP or MLA as Honorable reeks of British era sycophancy (it is another matter an overwhelming majority of them are even scum enough to earn the Honorable tag).

Same goes with the usage of ubiquitous "Sir". In the Southern part of US, one is often addressed as Sir as a matter of respect and gratitude, no matter what you are and what you do - considered as an integral part of Southern hospitality and mannerism. In Britain you need to go an extra mile for the same. You need to command respect to earn it. SIR is usually associated with the coveted Knighthood, reserved only for persons with extraordinary abilities.

In India the word "Sir" is too loosely used these days. During my growing up days the word Sir was sparingly used only to address teachers and high level officials who sipped TEACHERS. Now any Dumb addresses the Dumber as Sir, a perfect example is me being addressed as Sir on multiple occasions in India without hardly doing anything noteworthy to deserve such accolade. 

Often sugar coated, wrapped in obsequiousness and delivered with a bended spine posture, it comes in form of "SIR Jee" as if just SIR is not enough. This is also invariably followed by the character assassination of the Sir behind his back. Define hypocrisy.

Once a friend came late to a gathering in India. His excuse was - he had to drop his SAARE (The word Sir pronounced in thick Odia accent) at the Airport. Fair enough. I sarcastically asked him, " Since time immerial you have been dropping Sirs at Airport. Is it not high time for you now to be a SAARE ?" Nodding in approval were those who were around and had a hearty laugh. Hope his turn to be at the receiving end of the coveted Sir status, the ultimate dream of many arrive soon.